Though it’s more commonly, “ My wife hates it when I play video games ,” there are many non-gamer husbands out there who don’t like it when their wife—or husband—is glued to a video game. If you’re in the situation, regardless of your genders, there is hope for peace and a satisfying marriage.
First Things First: S/he Probably Doesn’t Get It
Regardless of whether or not the non-gaming spouse is a woman or man, you can rest assured: s/he doesn’t get it. Your non-gaming spouse probably doesn’t see what’s so great about video games. They don’t understand what it’s like to get a dopamine rush just from hearing the theme music of your favorite game booting up. They don’t know what it’s like to look forward to a video game binge. And they certainly do not understand why you’d ever care so deeply about something that has no real-world impact. Your non-gaming spouse, probably doesn’t get why video games are great—and they may never understand it. But getting guaranteed, uninterrupted game time doesn’t mean debating your spouse into actually appreciating video games. In order to actually get those seemingly elusive, drama-free gaming sessions, there are a few things you’ll need to do first.
Why Does My Wife Get Mad When I Play Video Games?
The answer to this question comes in two parts. First, your non-gaming wife (or non-gaming husband) probably doesn’t understand why video games are so important. I mean, when you think about it, nothing you do in a video game has any real impact on anything important in your life—unless you play DoTA professionally. Second, your non-gaming spouse may feel like video games are more important than the marriage. Whether or not that’s actually true is immaterial because feelings are emotionally driven and are not easily reasoned with. Basically, your spouse might be getting mad when you play video games because they feel like a game—one that has no impact on real life—is more important to you than they are.
Are Video Games Bad for a Marriage?
Video games aren’t necessarily bad for a marriage—but if you’re not putting your marriage first, video games can be the path to divorce. Putting your marriage first means making sure that your marriage is in a good spot before you embark on a video game binge. It means giving your spouse the Friday nights and Saturdays. If your spouse is always getting mad when you play video games, it may be a good idea to intentionally set aside time for them as well as essentially setting aside time for gaming. When two people get married, they’re both giving up their right to insist upon having things their way all the time.
You Both Deserve Hobbies
Both you and your spouse deserve to have hobbies, even if you don’t have the same hobbies. And yes, video games do count as a hobby. You might no longer have the right to insist upon playing video games as much as you want, but you still deserve to play them sometimes. If you notice that your significant other is always unhappy when you’re gaming, it could be because they feel like the games are more important than the marriage. You can show them that’s not true by setting aside time just for your spouse before setting aside time for yourself. Perhaps you could ask your spouse if you could work together to come up with a schedule each week where you spend three nights per week with the family and two nights per week gaming. While you’re gaming, your spouse can do something relaxing. Or, if you have children, your spouse can take care of the children while you game, and you could take care of the children while your spouse relaxes on the nights where you’re not gaming.
When You’re Gaming too Much
Most people who game aren’t addicted to video games. However, video game addiction is a real thing. Those who are struggling with video game addiction may struggle to hold down a job. They may neglect to take care of themselves, or take care of other responsibilities. Those who are addicted to video games may struggle to show interest in other areas of their lives, or become unhappy when they’re not able to game. If you’re addicted to video games, or you believe your spouse is addicted to video games, it may be time to work with a licensed mental health professional to better ensure that both parties get the help they need in order to work together on the marriage.
When You’ve Decided on Divorce
If you and your spouse have decided that divorce is right for you, CoilLaw is here for you. Contact us today to get started with your initial consultation.
