Some people get divorced and declare that they’ll never get married again. Others do get married again, only to have much higher chance of getting divorced the second time around. If you’ve gotten divorced, it’s so important to make sure you’ve healed from any emotional trauma you may have experienced in relation to your previous marriage. Even if you’ve already made it through the divorce process, you may still need time to heal and learn from the past in order to facilitate a healthy marriage after you’ve been divorced.
Go to Therapy
When you’re going through divorce, it’s important to go through therapy, and actually go through therapy. The goal of therapy is usually to go once a week, then once every other week, then to once a month. Eventually, you will reach a point where you no longer need therapy. The goal of therapy usually isn’t to stay in therapy for the rest of your life. It’s important to find a therapist that you trust so that you can ask them about how you’re progressing on your therapeutic journey, and get their opinion on whether or not you’re ready to see them less frequently. It’s not a good idea to abruptly stop going to therapy. However, if you aren’t making progress in therapy, it may be time to find a different therapist.
Read Personal Improvement Books
Reading personal development books can help you address specific areas of growth on your own time. If you’re going through therapy, you can ask your therapist for recommendations on which books can help you the most. Reading a variety of different books on personal development can help you succeed in many different areas of your life. It may also be helpful to discuss the insights you gain from these books with your therapist. Journaling about the insights you plan on discussing in therapy will help you get the most out of therapy and the personal development books you’re reading.
Invest in Yourself
After a marriage ends, those in the marriage have an opportunity to invest in themselves. This can mean finding a new hobby, spending more time with friends and family members, attending spiritual or religious events, and more. Unfortunately, not everyone takes the opportunity to invest in themselves. Some people attempt to ease the pain by escaping into another relationship, which often causes them to repeat the same patterns and behaviors that they engaged in during their marriage. Others escape into substances such as alcohol. This can cause a cycle of depression and addiction that can be difficult to break free from. If you’re going through a divorce, make sure you’re practicing healthy coping skills throughout the whole time.
When you’re finally ready to date again, it’s time to be picky with who you’re dating. If you’ve recognized things about your ex that contributed to the end of your marriage, make sure you don’t settle for someone who has the same flaws that you previously couldn’t accept. There are other people out there who have healed from their past marriages and/or relationships. However, you may not find these people instantly, and the first person you go on a date with might not be the person who’s right for you. It’s important to remember that there will be other people out there—even if you don’t find them right away.
…But Not Too Picky
Some people stay single because they idealize the perfect partner—the problem is that such a person doesn’t exist. Sometimes people dismiss suitable partners because they can’t meet a laundry list of paltry expectations. While it’s important to have standards and dealbreakers, not every little flaw should be a dealbreaker. Perfect people do not exist. There isn’t a person out there who’s perfect for you and will understand you intuitively. Though such romances exist in movies, they do not exist in real-life Being okay with some faults can help you find a partner that will be a good fit for you.
When You’re Going through a Divorce
How you get through the divorce process is just as important as what you to move on after you’ve gotten through the divorce process. At CoilLaw our attorneys are dedicated to helping you protect your rights and understand the divorce process. When you need an experienced attorney to advocate for your rights and guide you through the divorce process, CoilLaw is the firm for you. Our initial consultations can help you understand your situation and your rights. If you’re considering filing for divorce, contact CoilLaw today to get your intial consultation scheduled.