You’ve probably heard the statistics before: after your first divorce, you’re more likely to get divorced in following marriages. And not only are you more likely to get divorced, but your children too are more likely to get divorced. If that really is the case, how do you break the divorce cycle?
Work with a Mental Health Professional
It’s always a good idea to go to a qualified mental health professional when you’re going through a divorce. A lot of people describe the divorce process as a rough time. In fact, divorce is commonly considered to be the second most traumatic event that you can go through. Having a mental health professional on your team can help you cope with the more difficult emotions that come with the divorce process. Working with a mental health professional can also prevent you from using your attorney as your therapist, which can be costly. Attending therapy can increase your chance of moving forward after the divorce, and decrease your chance of getting into a relationship that has similar dynamics to your marriage. Although uncomfortable, you may need to do some personal reflection with your therapist to determine if you engaged in any behavior or patterns that contributed to your marriage not working. Correcting these behaviors or patterns can help improve the next relationship and marriage.
Take Time for Yourself
If you’ve just been divorced, or you’re currently going through the divorce process, now is a great time to put a pause on your dating life. It isn’t uncommon for people to date multiple people with the same red flags and/or incompatibilities. This often happens because human beings tend to like things that are familiar. If you’re going through divorce, take time to really think about what you will want for your next relationship. It may also be useful to consider your ex: what did you like about them, and what were your incompatibilities? If you’re eager to start dating again, it may be a good idea to consult your therapist before doing so to ensure that you’re emotionally ready.
Taking Care of Your Children
Divorce is often very difficult for any children involved. It’s a difficult time for them, and they may even have difficulties in the future due to divorce; children who have divorced parents are more likely to divorce themselves. Many psychologists theorize this may have something to do with the behaviors a child has learned from their parents during divorce. Making sure your children are taken care of mentally and emotionally can help set your child up for success. Make sure to have open, honest, and age-appropriate conversations with your children regarding the divorce, but make sure that you don’t tell them too much information about the divorce, or information that is not appropriate for them to hear. Many parents dealing with the loss of their partner will turn to their children to be their confidant or emotional support. This is typically harmful for children as it places them in a role unsuitable for children. If you need emotional or mental support, it’s best to seek out a therapist, family, or friend to fill that role. Depending on your circumstances, your child may also benefit from seeing a therapist as well.
Invest in Yourself
If you’re going through the divorce process, it’s a good time to invest in yourself. Not only does that mean seeing a therapist, but it may also include making sure you have time for self-care. This may be a time to make good changes to promote your mental and physical health. Many people decide to start exercise routines to help promote physical and mental health. A healthy diet and getting enough sleep will make a significant difference in your mood and mental health. Another good idea may be setting aside time for yourself to de-stress and relax through meditation, hobby, or any other activity that you enjoy. This is obviously helpful during the divorce process. However, practicing self-care is also an important part of maintaining mental health after the divorce. If you aren’t investing in yourself and taking care of your own needs, you won’t be able to take care of the needs of a healthy relationship.
Fill out Your Life
Fill out your life with things that genuinely make you happy. It may sound paradoxical, but your life needs to be full in order to have room for someone else. Make sure you’re spending plenty of time with friends and family. Also, don’t forget to spend time doing things that you enjoy doing. Many people use the divorce process as an opportunity to reinvent themselves and take up those hobbies that they didn’t have time for during the marriage. Though these habits will be helpful during the divorce process, they’ll also establish a good foundation for the future.
Breaking the Cycle for Good
Breaking the divorce cycle for good isn’t easy. However, if you establish habits that promote your well-being, you’ll be more likely to find a healthy relationship that compliments your life. We often tell our clients that no one dies from divorce because, though the emotions that come with divorce can be intense, the divorce itself cannot kill you. There is light at the end of the tunnel. If you are struggling to endure, reach out for help today. Not only is it possible to heal after your divorce, it’s also possible to start over again, and build a healthy relationship with someone new. Those who have been married multiple times may be more likely to get divorced, but that doesn’t have to be your story. You can break the divorce cycle.
When You’re Considering Divorce
If you’re considering divorce, contact CoilLaw today to get started on your initial consultation. Meeting with an attorney before announcing your decision to divorce may help you make more informed decisions and help ensure that you achieve the best outcome possible during the divorce process. If you’re considering divorce, contact CoilLaw today.