A lot of people unsurprisingly wonder when it’s time to start dating again. Because everyone is different, it’s difficult to give a definitive answer that makes sense for every person. Some people need years to heal from the pain of their divorce while other people are ready to date again relatively quickly. Depending on what your situation is, you may find yourself wondering when you should start dating again.
Only You Can Decide
Only you can decide for yourself whether or not you’re ready to begin dating after divorce. While some people like to wait a long time, others are ready to jump back into a romantic relationship relatively quickly. Though only you can decide when you’re ready to start a new relationship, it’s never a good idea to hop into a new relationship too quickly. Healing from the pain of divorce, and the struggles that led up to the divorce is often a necessary step for those who are interested in a more long-term relationship. Although the decision to begin a new relationship is a personal decision, there are some signs that you may be ready.
Life Satisfaction
If you’re satisfied with your life the way it is, that’s a good sign that you may be ready to share your life with another person. A lot of people look to romantic relationships or marriages in order to find fulfillment and satisfaction. While a romantic relationship or a marriage can definitely enhance your life, it cannot be the sole source of satisfaction in your life. It’s not uncommon for people to feel let down in romantic relationships or marriages because their partner cannot always make them happy. In order to ensure that you’re not looking for a partner to bring you satisfaction in life, you should be satisfied with your life before you go looking for someone else to share it with.
Inner Peace
Divorce can be a wild roller coaster. Few people would describe it as a time for inner peace.
Even after divorce, you may feel as if you haven’t quite gotten off the ride. However, it may be a good idea to ensure that you have inner peace before starting a new relationship. Ensuring your emotions are stable, and that you’re in a good place mentally, will help you attract people who have a positive outlook on life and are ready to begin a relationship as well. It may sound vague, but having inner peace is an important part of being ready for a new relationship. Being at peace with the past means that you’ve accepted the reality of what is, taken responsibility for your part in the matter, and are ready to move forward with your life.
Forgiving Yourself
Self-compassion is the trendy new phrase that the therapists are using, and for a good reason too. Self-compassion means that you treat yourself the way you would treat a friend. But it doesn’t mean wallowing in self-pity or making excuses for your failures. Instead, self-compassion means that you accept your flaws without being too harsh on yourself and commit to being better in the future. If you’re divorced, but you have intense feelings of shame or guilt, it may not be time to jump back into a relationship yet. Though it’s normal to have those feelings, jumping back into a relationship before you’ve worked through them may prevent you from working through them, or interfere with your ability to work through them.
Consulting Your Therapist
If you’re wondering whether or not you’re ready to get back into a relationship after a divorce, it may be a good idea to consult with a therapist. Having a mental health professional is an essential resource for those going through a divorce. If you’ve gone through divorce, but you haven’t gone through therapy, it may be a good idea to talk with a therapist to ensure that you’ve appropriately dealt with all the emotions that come with divorce. If you’re still going through the divorce process, but you have not begun therapy, it may be a good idea to work with a therapist during the divorce process.
No One Dies from Divorce
A lot of people feel as though their divorce is the end of the world. And while it may be the end of a chapter, it’s not the end of your story. We tell our clients that no one dies from divorce because we know that divorce itself can’t kill you. However, the depression, loneliness, and isolation that come from divorce can lead some people to some very dark places. If you are going through a divorce, and you need someone to help you through the process, it may be a good idea to speak with a therapist, or qualified mental health professional.
