Do you have a long list of exes who have either narcissistic personality features or a full-blown personality disorder? After marrying another person suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, you may be wondering if there’s something wrong with you, or if there’s a reason you keep picking the wrong person. But before you start beating yourself up, know that many people with narcissistic personality disorder, or narcissistic tendencies, are attracted to people with positive traits. In a lot of cases, people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, or people who have narcissistic tendencies, are attracted to certain personalities that they find to be validating and beneficial.
They Provide Validation
A lot of people who are consistently attracting people with narcissistic personality disorder, or narcissistic tendencies, are people who are good at validating the experiences of others. These compassionate souls are willing to empathetically listen to others while remaining non-judgmental. For people with NPD, this can be extremely attractive. Though you typically think of people with NPD as constantly thinking about how great they are, these people are normally deeply insecure. Having another person to validate their experiences, and help them build themselves up, usually makes a very attractive relationship for a person with NPD.
Empathy can cause people to feel a wide range of emotions alongside another person. For most people, having someone who can empathize with them on a deep level is enough to make any situation better. People with NPD are no different; they too enjoy having someone to empathize with them. And, for a lot of people with NPD, a person who can empathize with them, despite their bad behaviors, may offer a person with narcissistic traits a very attractive relationship. Those who are suffering from the effects of narcissistic personality disorder tend to need more validation than others may. Those who are empathetic may be more capable of filling a person with narcissistic personality disorder’s need for validation.
People who are more forgiving than others may be more susceptible to being mistreated by others with narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic tendencies. Since those affected by narcissistic traits have a tendency to be preoccupied with themselves and their problems, they may forget about their friends. Those who are extra forgiving are usually quick to let go of any harsh feelings toward their friend with narcissistic features. Though this forgiveness is typically given out of kindness, those suffering from NPD may be quick to take advantage of a forgiving nature. A person with NPD or narcissistic traits may recognize and take advantage of that forgiveness.
Those who are particularly trusting are also more likely to be taken advantage of by a person who’s exhibiting narcissistic features. For those who are very trusting, they’re much more inclined to give others the benefit of the doubt. People who have symptoms of NPD can use this trust to their advantage. Since these types of people have a high need for admiration and validation from others, they may lie and manipulate others in order to get such validation and admiration. Unfortunately, people who are willing to trust others can be easier for people with NPD to exploit.
They’re Used to People with NPD
As you can see, a lot of people attract people with narcissistic personality traits, or narcissistic personality disorder, are attracted to the positive traits in others. It’s common for people who are harmed by the features of clinical narcissism to feel as though there’s something wrong with them because they keep attracting people with maladaptive traits. However, it’s likely that a person’s positive traits actually attract those partners with narcissistic features. Since many people who have NPD are attracted to these traits, it’s possible that people who have attracted multiple people with NPD have begun to see these types of relationships as normal. In these cases, it may be advisable to seek help from a qualified mental health professional.
When You’re Ready for Divorce
If you know you’re in a marriage where your spouse’s narcissistic features are directly conflicting with your happiness, CoilLaw is here for you. Those who are married to people struggling with narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic features are more likely to have high-conflict divorces. This is because those experiencing symptoms of NPD often struggle with respecting another person’s boundaries. In these cases, having legal representation can help prevent you from being taken advantage of during the divorce process. If you’re ready to file for divorce, contact CoilLaw today for an initial consultation.