You may have heard the joke that the best way to prevent divorce is to marry the right person or not to get married at all. Though no two people are 100% compatible, most couples are able to work through most of the issues they disagree on. However, there are a few key issues that tend to cause more serious difficulties between couples. In order to be able to effectively navigate these potential issues, it is crucial that couples have these three vital conversations before the wedding. You may not agree on everything, but at least you’ll have a road map to deal with upcoming disagreements.
How Will You Manage Money Together?
It’s extremely important that couples are on the same page financially. Though merging finances before the wedding isn’t absolutely necessary, you still need to have an open and honest conversation with your future spouse about spending habits and financial goals. Do you both view money the same way? Or is one person a spender and the other a saver? If your money-managing styles don’t match up, it isn’t the end of the world. However, you might need to make a more detailed plan on how you’ll manage your finances as a team and how you’ll deal with conflicts that arise from different monetary views.
What Role Will Intimacy Play in Your Marriage?
If you’re getting married, you’ve probably already heard the saying, “the two things couples fight about are money and sex.” It is crucial that you are open and honest with your future spouse on these issues. Though the frequency of intimacy may be an uncomfortable topic, it’s important to take it seriously. Don’t say you enjoy sex “everyday,” when you really mean, “ideally, never.” Issues surrounding frequency of physical intimacy can cause deep resentment that poisons many good marriages. If there are compatibility issues here, you are going to want to have a plan to work through them before you get married. Though it’s normal for the frequency of intimacy to fluctuate and go through phases throughout your marriage, again you need to know how to safely communicate your needs to each other.
The BIG Issue That Causes Divorce
Though the previous two issues are ones that may be worked through with compromise and dedication, this next issue is something you absolutely must agree on. If you do not want children, do not marry someone who is dying to have children. Similarly, if you only want one child, do not marry someone who wants to have eight children. The decision to have children is a very important decision for a lot of people. Although it is possible that your significant other will change their minds on wanting children and how many they want, you should never count on it. Though many people change their minds about children, there are many people who do not change their minds about children.
If Your Marriage Has Been Damaged
Marriage is a huge step: you’re choosing someone to spend the rest of your life with. Therefore, you need to be absolutely certain that you have a plan for navigating the issues that can ruin even the best marriages. If you know firsthand how devastating these issues can be, CoilLaw is here for you. If you have questions about getting the divorce process started, we’re just a phone call away. Contact us to find out how we can provide you with the clarity you need.