Trust is the foundation of a good marriage—but what if you can no longer trust your spouse? Or, what if you’ve been emotionally traumatized in the past by a significant other? In these cases, it’s important for both parties to work through the broken trust together if they want to save the relationship or marriage. Unfortunately, in some cases, the marriage cannot be saved. If you and your spouse are having issues with trust, this blog is for you.
What Are Trust Issues?
You probably know what trust issues are, but it’s important to understand that issues trusting are different from paranoia. Usually, people who have trust issues have had experiences, and/or mental health issues, that have contributed to an inability to trust others. For example, imagine a young child whose father leaves, and suddenly stops communicating with the child. The child may grow into an adult who does not feel as though they can rely upon others. Another example could involve a person who’s been cheated on. It’s common for people who have been cheated on to struggle to trust other partners in the future.
When They Come from Childhood
Our caregivers teach us a lot about what we can expect from the world. The problem is that not everything our caregivers teach us is accurate, especially if we had caregivers who suffered from personality disorders which can distort a person’s view of reality, or a parent who struggled with substance abuse issues. Some people had the misfortune of growing up with parents who were abusive and/or neglectful. If your parents’ behavior taught you that the world is a scary place and that you can’t even count on your own parents, you may develop trust issues.
When They Come from the Past
Past relationships can also cause a person to be hyper-vigilant and overly preoccupied with whether or not they can trust a person. However, trust issues from past relationships don’t have to come from being cheated on. Trust issues could arise if a break-up happens unexpectedly, or if a person’s significant other breaks a large promise. Both behavioral addictions and substance addictions can cause a person to act differently than they normally do since they’re prioritizing the addiction. This may result in a betrayal that doesn’t involve romantic infidelity.
Mental Health Concerns
People suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, or borderline personality disorder may be more likely to have trust issues. Unfortunately, these disorders are frequently misunderstood and people who suffer from such disorders may behave in socially inappropriate ways without realizing it. Because of this, many people who are suffering from such disorders can have a lengthy history of abandonment, causing them to mistrust others. Recovery is possible if you’re willing to work with a mental health professional. Though personality disorders can be difficult to treat, it is possible for a person to recover from a personality disorder and live a normal life full of filling relationships.
How Trust Issues Ruin Relationships
Trust issues ruin relationships because relationships are built upon trust. In order to be vulnerable and intimate with someone, you need to be able to trust them. While many people believe that their inability to trust others is a strength, it’s actually a weakness that could doom them to a life of solitude. If you have trust issues, you could be pushing partners away who are willing and capable of building a healthy relationship with you. However, if you’re constantly building up walls, and refusing to let your significant other in, they may move on to find a partner who they can be emotionally intimate with. A lot of people who have trust issues will look at these break-ups as evidence that people are not to be trusted. But the reality is that the person with trust issues has probably pushed away many suitable partners.
When Trust Issues Have Damaged Your Marriage
In most cases, couples can save their marriage with hard work and counselling—even in cases where trust has been damaged by extreme behavior such as adultery. However, not all marriages can be saved. If you and your spouse have decided to divorce, CoilLaw is here for you. Our experienced legal team is dedicated to helping you protect your rights, and obtain the best outcome possible. Going through the divorce process is stressful and overwhelming. Having an experienced legal advocate on your side can help you make it through the divorce process. If you’re considering divorced, contact CoilLaw today to get started with your initial consultation.