Although we’re the divorce pros, we’re not necessarily pro-divorce.
You’ll hear a lot of new ideas on the internet. One idea that keeps popping up is that marriage is a trap. And, you’ll hear a lot of people claiming that marriage is a trap for men. Money.com, MSNBC, and Psychology Today, all have recently published articles on the idea of marriage as a trap. With our sexist society continuously promoting the picture of the ball-and-chain-wife, it’s no wonder why people say that marriage is a trap, even though studies repeatedly show that married men are happier than their single counterparts, and married men benefit from marriage more than their wives.
Higher Levels of Satisfaction
Data from Pew Research suggests that people who are married have higher levels of relationship satisfaction compared to those who are just cohabitating. When compared to cohabiting couples, married couples are more likely to say that they’re “very satisfied” with the way their partner parents, the way household chores are divided, the way that their partner balances work and personal life, and their communication skills. However, research has shown that, despite marriage’s effects on relationship satisfaction, it does not tend to have a big impact on life satisfaction. Yet, studies have shown that, even though levels of life satisfaction return to their normal levels, the benefits of marriage continue to make an impact. Further data from the Pew Research shows that 90% of couples married for love. Only 13% married for financial reasons, and only 10% married for convenience. In comparison, 73% of couples cohabitate for love while 38% cohabitate for financial reasons, and 37% cohabitate for convenience.
Despite what people who claim marriage is a trap are saying, marriage often does bring financial security. If you’re married, the household now has two incomes if both spouses are working. Even if one spouse is working reduced hours to care for children, or staying home with the children entirely, this still helps out financially. The average cost of daycare in America is around $10,000 per year and, in some states, the average cost raises to $20,000 per year. If the parent who stays at home cares for the children, cooks, cleans, and runs all necessary errands, having a spouse who stays at home may end up being financially advantageous. Furthermore, a study that looked at families with children revealed that married couples had a median net worth of $228,200, whereas couples who were simply cohabitating with their shared children had a net worth of only $3,001.
Marriage is becoming increasingly tied to economic and social privilege. Those who are well-educated tend to get married and stay married. As we know, children who grow up with parents who have college degrees are more likely to pursue a college degree themselves. Similarly, children who have parents who are married are more likely to have successful marriages themselves. A study in the UK found that both caucasian children and black children were less likely to succeed in school when their parents were no longer married or never married. The study concludes that, “marriage rates of each ethnic group map almost perfectly onto the school achievements of their children.” Statistics further show that children of divorced parents are more likely to be divorced themselves.
It All Depends on Who You Marry
Given the advantages of being married, it appears as though marriage isn’t necessarily a trap unless you marry the wrong person. Sure, there are many women out there who bring absolutely nothing to the table, and are searching for a man to take care of them. However, it should be noted that there are many men out there as well who have nothing going for them, and expect to have a woman taking care of them.Whether or not marriage is a trap has a lot less to do with your gender, and a lot more to do with the person you’re married to. You’ve probably heard your parents warn, and for a good reason too, that you are the people you surround yourself with. If you marry a respectful person who is constantly striving to improve their lives and themselves, marriage isn’t a trap at all.
No One Dies from Divorce
Making a marriage work can be difficult. A lot of people feel trapped in their marriages because they love their spouse very much, but they can’t go on feeling unhappy and unfulfilled. Leading attorney Jill Coil wrote No One Dies from Divorce to guide people through the divorce process. Although divorce can be a dark time for many people, divorce itself cannot kill you, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.