If you’re going through a divorce, you probably want to have the most simple divorce possible. But that can seem impossible—especially at the beginning. Many people feel simply overwhelmed by the thought of divorce. For a lot of couples, divorce can mean a drastic income reduction and completely re-arranging your life. Though it may seem impossible at the beginning, the best way to reduce the stress of the divorce process is to keep the divorce simple.
Consult an Attorney
If you’re considering a divorce, you should at the very least consult an attorney. Do-it-yourself divorces are rarely a good idea unless you’ve got a very specific set of circumstances. For example, if you have no children, no shared assets, completely separate finances, or it was short-term marriage, you may be able to go to your state’s site and get an online divorce. However, even if your circumstances resemble the aforementioned, you should still consult an attorney. An attorney will be able to tell you whether or not hiring an attorney would be worth your time. Also, an attorney can help you understand what your rights are, and help you strategize a plan to get the best outcome. Additionally, an attorney can also help you think through, and understand the consequences of your self-negotiated and drafted divorce documents. Many people get into trouble by agreeing to terms that they feel are reasonable and appropriate, but simply don’t understand the law, the courts, or unseen consequences of these agreements in the future. An attorney can also help you consider some issues that you had not thought to include in your self-prepared divorce.
Know Your Priorities
When it comes to divorce, you can’t have it all. Although everyone would like to have all the assets and full custody while leaving your ex with all the debt, very few—if any at all—people are able to get such an arrangement. Knowing your priorities can help you decide which things to fight over, and which things to compromise on. It’s a good idea to know exactly what you’re going to be okay with compromising on, and which things you’re firm on. It’s probably a good idea to be willing to compromise on a lot of things, and only have a few things you’re less willing to compromise on.
Be Ready to Compromise
Speaking of compromise, you’ll need a heavy amount of compromise during divorce. A lot of people who file for divorce ask for everything they could ever ask for. However, they’re usually willing to compromise. Whether you’re the petitioner or the respondent, you’ll need to be ready to compromise from the beginning. Neither party is going to get everything they asked for and most parties feel as though they’ve been cheated during the divorce process. A lot of divorces can be dragged out much longer than necessary because both parties refuse to compromise with each other or take positions out of spite and hatred. Once you’ve got a list of things you’re more willing to compromise on, it’s important to accept that you may need to compromise on all those things, and maybe even things you didn’t intend to compromise on. Working with your ex—within reason—will help you save time and money since you’ll be going to court much less frequently. Setting aside past grievances, relationship issues, or other emotions will help provide better perspective and rational decision-making. This must occur with both parties to make the process simple.
Find a Therapist
A lot of people fall into the trap of using their attorney as a therapist. Though an attorney can provide you with legal advice, they aren’t qualified mental health professionals. Furthermore, an attorney is likely going to charge a lot more than a therapist would charge. Many people don’t want to pay for the extra expense of going through therapy during a divorce. However, a mental health professional can help you develop the necessary skills to cope with the pain and stress of divorce in a healthy and constructive manner. When you can process your emotions in a constructive way, you’re much less likely to let your emotions control the divorce process. Approaching the divorce process with a clear head will almost always result in a better outcome.
Whether you’re making demands or responding to them, it’s important to be reasonable. Part of this does mean being ready to compromise, but it also means considering what your spouse may consider to be fair. Another part of being reasonable is listening to your attorney’s advice. You don’t need to do whatever your attorney tells you to do. However, you should at the very least consider what they’re saying. If they are consistently giving you advice that you feel is bad, or that you do not agree with, it may be worth it to consider consulting a different attorney.
Get Legal Advice
If you’re going through a divorce, and you’re overwhelmed by the process, it’s important to know that you don’t have to go through this alone. Having an attorney can help simplify the divorce process because an attorney can give you legal advice that’s tailored to your specific situation. This can help you make decisions that make the decisions much smoother. If you’re ready to file for divorce, contact CoilLaw today for a consultation.