At CoilLaw, we’re divorce pros, but we’re not pro-divorce. In fact, we believe that a lot of marriages can be saved and are worthy of being saved. Though there are a lot of good things about getting a divorce, there are also downsides to a divorce. In fact, almost every positive thing about divorce comes with a negative too. While there will be some marriages that cannot be saved, we believe it is important for people to consider everything before making a decision regarding divorce. When you’re in a marriage that’s strained, it may feel as though divorce will free you from all the problems. However, the grass may not be greener on the other side.
A lot of couples who are ready for divorce have spent a lot of time-fighting. In a marriage like the aforementioned, one of the best parts of the divorce just might be the peace that comes from being divorced. Imagine coming home and knowing that there’s nobody to fight with. There’s no conversation to be had for the 100th time. Fighting can be incredibly stressful, especially if your spouse is one to say hurtful things or engage in name-calling. If you’re sick of the constant fighting, it’s understandable that you’d want a divorce. After all, divorce can be an effective way to end most of the fighting. In cases where you will have to continue to engage your ex, generally when there are children, the conflict will likely continue to occur. The benefit here comes from living away from your ex and having a safe sanctuary away from the consistent conflict. This may allow you to better manage your relationship with your ex in the future.
Though divorce can reduce or, in some cases, completely eliminate fights with your spouse, there is a cost. You won’t have to come home to fights anymore. But on the other hand, you will be coming home to an empty house. For some people, this is a trade-off they’d willingly make in a heartbeat. However, there are a lot of people out there who, despite the fact that the marriage is strained, still love and care about their spouse. If you know you’d miss your spouse horribly if you never saw them again, then it may be worth it to examine the issues in your marriage and see if there’s a way it can be saved.
Are you sick of watching football with your wife during football season? Would you rather gargle hot sauce than watch another episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills with your husband? Well, if you get a divorce, you’ll never have to do that again. In fact, there’s a lot of boring or unpleasant stuff that you’ll never have to do again. If you’re married, you’ve likely made sacrifices for your spouse, such as watching boring television or declining another poker night with your friends. After a divorce, you don’t have to continue making sacrifices for your spouse. You are free to do whatever you want, whenever you want. You can find yourself again, get back into your old hobbies, and meet new people. It’s all up to you.
After the divorce, you’ve got the power to do whatever you want. But, with great power comes great responsibility. In almost every household, keeping everything running smoothly is a team effort. Even if one spouse works and the other is a stay-at-home parent, there’s someone earning the income and someone maintaining the house and caring for the children. After the divorce, you will be responsible for maintaining your home. You will be responsible for preparing the food, cleaning the house, and scheduling repairs. And, if you and your spouse share custody of the children, you’ll be responsible for doing all of that while you’ve got the children. Though you may have additional freedom after divorce, you’ll very likely have additional responsibilities too.
You Don’t Have to Deal with Your Spouse
Assuming you married a human being, your spouse definitely has faults. And, those faults aren’t always convenient. But if you’re getting divorced, you no longer have to deal with those. For example, if your spouse is constantly spending money on frivolous nonsense, you won’t have to worry about that after the divorce. Once you’re divorced, you’ll be able to budget how you want to budget. Or, perhaps you have a spouse who needs a lot of emotional support. If you get a divorce, you won’t be stuck spending significant amounts of energy providing them with support. Often, both parties have faults that add tension to the marriage. Divorce can be an end to that tension.
Your Spouse Doesn’t Have to Deal with You
While you might not have to deal with your spouse’s problems anymore, you’re also not going to have someone who’s obligated to deal with your problems either. Having someone who’s there for you, even in a small way, can make a huge difference. When you get divorced, you’ll no longer have the security that you can have as a married person. You may no longer have the security of having another person there for you. Though the relationship may be strained, before divorce is brought up, your spouse is probably going to be able to help you in your time of need.
When You’re Ready for Divorce
There are definitely cases where the grass really is greener on the other side and it’s time to move to greener pastures, particularly in cases where abuse is involved. However, in a lot of cases, the benefits of getting a divorce all come with a cost. If you’ve determined that the benefits of divorce outweigh the drawbacks, it may be time to set up an initial consultation in order to get a clearer picture of your legal options and rights. If you’re ready to file for divorce, contact CoilLaw today.