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It’s not uncommon for people to spend hours googling ways to ruin their ex’s life during the divorce. Though we can’t tell you exactly how to make it rain pain on your ex, we can tell you what not to do. It’s also important to remember that the laws surrounding divorce, courts, and judges, are not concerned with providing you with justice, vengeance, or anything of the sort. This means that if you really want to make things tough for your ex, you’re going to have to be on your best behavior at all times. Although that may sound counterintuitive, it’s going to save you from a lot of pain and heartacheboth emotionally and financially.

Taking Your Spouse to Court for Every Little Thing

A lot of people believe that the best way to get even with their ex is to take them to court for every little thing. You may think it’s funny to watch your spouse struggle to pay for all the legal fees that they continue to rack up because you keep taking them to court. And, it probably is pretty amusinguntil the judge orders you to pay for your spouse’s legal fees. Also, you don’t have to take your spouse to court multiple times for a judge to order you to pay your spouse’s legal fees. If you are acting egregiously or unreasonably enough, a judge may order you to pay for your spouse’s legal fees even if you only took them to court once. During a divorce, one of the best things you can do for your financial well-being is keep the court appearances to a minimum.

Alienating the Children

A lot of parents try to alienate the children from their ex. This is extremely painful for both parent and child. With some exception, Utah law and the courts believe it is in the child’s best interest to have a relationship with both parents. However, if you are bad-mouthing the other parent, or refusing to allow the parent to see the kids during court ordered parent time, the court will not look favorably upon you and could result in a less favorable outcome. Even if you aren’t punished by a court, your child may realize they’ve been alienated as they grow and mature. This can cause them to resent the alienating parent. If you have children, and you’re going through a divorce, it is important to allow your children to have a healthy relationship with your ex. Therefore, you may need to shelter them from any of the drama or conflict of the divorce.

Fighting over Insignificant Items

It is relatively common for couples going through a high-conflict divorce to fight over items that are easily replaceable or have only sentimental value. In many cases, one spouse wants the item just so the other person can’t have it. If you’re fighting over items that are easily replaceable, you’re probably going to spend more time and money fighting for the item than the item is actually worth. Since divorce can be so expensive, you’ll likely experience much less stress if you’re able to save a couple of dollars during the divorce. If your spouse is willing to fight over a bunch of insignificant and easily replaceable items, it may be for the best to just let your spouse have them and move on.

Bad Mouthing Your Ex on Social Media

Using social media to bad mouth your ex can be a nearly irresistible temptation for couples going through a divorce. However, bad mouthing your ex on social media can be a recipe for disaster, especially if you have children. Remember, anything you do or say on social media can be used against you in court, and may be seen by your children. If you’re hiding assets and posting pictures of your new Lamborghini, you can expect to have those pictures blown up and shown to a court. If you’re bad-mouthing your spouse, it may be used as evidence that you will not promote a healthy parent-child relationship. Even if you think your page is private, you should refrain from posting about your divorce or your spouse as you do not ultimately know who may report those posts to your ex. The very best thing you can do during a divorce is refrain from social media altogether.

 Destroying or Hiding Assets

Destroying assets or hiding them are both great ways to make sure your ex doesn’t get them. However, it’s probably not worth it. If you have assets worth hiding, your ex probably has an attorney making sure all of the financial information you’ve reported is accurate. If it comes out that you’ve been hiding assets, your ex can be awarded additional attorneys fees, or you could be held in contempt. If you hide assets that your ex later finds out about, Utah law supports the court granting your ex all of the hidden asset. The same goes for destroying assets. For example, if you intentionally crash the luxury car that you and your spouse purchased together, a judge may offset your spouse’s portion of the vehicle with other assets.

 The Best Revenge

When it comes to divorce, the old adage is probably true: the best revenge is living well after the break-up. During divorce, it can be difficult to live well with all the emotional turmoil going on. But you don’t have to go through this alone. Having a qualified mental health professional help you work through the difficult emotions that come with divorce is a crucial part of coming out of the divorce whole. Having legal representation is also important for protecting your rights and advocating for your best interests. At CoilLaw, our talented attorneys are committed to providing you with the best legal advice available. If you’re ready to file for divorce, contact CoilLaw today. 

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