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Finding out your spouse has cheated on you is likely to cause unimaginable amounts of emotional pain. Making the decision to end your marriage can be just as painful as deciding to stay in a marriage after infidelity has tarnished the relationship. Though divorce after infidelity is the path many couples choose, it’s also possible for couples to restore their marriage after infidelity. As long as you’re both committed to repairing the marriage, it’s possible to save the marriage even after infidelity.

Can a Marriage Survive Infidelity?

A marriage can absolutely survive infidelity. Psychologists have often said that many marriages that have survived infidelity end up becoming stronger than they were before the infidelity happened. However, that doesn’t mean that surviving infidelity will be easy, and, tragically, surviving infidelity is not possible for all couples. In marriages that involve a serial cheater who isn’t remorseful, working through infidelity together may not be possible.

If You’ve Committed Infidelity

If you’ve committed infidelity and you’ve decided that you want to save your marriage, you need to cut off contact with the person you cheated with immediately and permanently. You will also need to accept responsibility for the affair. Though no marriage is perfect, and your spouse likely contributed to some of the issues in the marriage, your decision to engage in an affair was your decision alone. Fixing the marriage will require openness and honesty. Both you and your spouse will need to communicate your feelings effectively. And, you will need to be patient with your spouse as your spouse goes through the process of grieving your affair. You will need to work on the marriage with your spouse, and you will need to work with them to help them emotionally process the affair.

When Your Spouse Was Unfaithful

If your spouse has been unfaithful, and you want to save the marriage, you will need to start by considering whether or not the marriage can be saved. In order for the marriage to be saved, your spouse needs to be genuinely remorseful. A cheating wife, or cheating husband, who isn’t remorseful, is more likely to remain unfaithful. Also, your spouse should not have any contact with the person they cheated on you with. Additionally, your spouse should accept blame for their decision to cheat. Though you may have contributed to underlying issues in the marriage, you did not make your spouse cheat. Your spouse’s decision to cheat was their decision, not yours. Finally, in order for your marriage to be saved, your spouse needs to be committed to working through these issues with you.

Surviving Infidelity Together

Surviving infidelity as a couple is hard: it’s a long process and you will likely need to consult a marital counselor in order to work through the affair together. Although one person made the decision to cheat, both parties must work through the consequences of that decision together. It’s often an incredibly painful process, especially for the betrayed spouse. If you want to save your marriage, you will need specialized counselling immediately so you can identify any deeper issues or root causes of why the affair may have happened.

If It’s Time to Leave

Catching your wife cheating, or catching your husband cheating, can be devastating. If you’re struggling with figuring out how to survive infidelity and restore your relationship, you are not alone. A lot of couples struggle to move forward after an affair. If you need help beginning the divorce process, CoilLaw is here for you. We can help you start the divorce process and answer any questions you may have. If you’re struggling to move forward after infidelity, contact CoilLaw today. 

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