Late-in-life divorce is becoming an increasingly common trend. In fact, people over 50 are divorcing twice as often as they were thirty years ago. Though gray divorce is still less common than divorce in short-term marriages, it is a process that leaves thousands of couples overwhelmed and perplexed every year. Divorces occurring after decades of marriage can often be more complicated and contentious than divorces occurring after a short marriage. Since these divorces are so different from the average divorce, it is important to know how to navigate them before you begin the separation process.
Understand That Your Divorce Is Different
Late-in-life divorces often include special considerations that a normal divorce would not include. Though you likely do not have to worry about custody arrangements, you may find that separating financially can be very difficult. After decades of marriage, finances and assets are often much more entangled than they are in short-term marriages, especially when you factor in retirement savings accounts, Health Savings Accounts, bonuses, and other capital accumulated over a long career. Depending on the laws in your state, both parties may be entitled to some of these assets. When couples divorce late in life, it can be harder for each party to move forward financially, especially if they have already retired or were planning on retiring soon. These curveballs can represent just a few of the many ways a late-in-life divorce is different from a regular divorce.
Prioritize Your Health
Divorce can take a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Therefore, it is important to make sure you are taking care of yourself during this time. Physical exercise is a great way to manage your stress and promote your happiness. It may also help to spend extra time with friends and family. Since many people struggle to cope with the changes of a divorce, seeking counselling may be helpful. Improving your mental and physical health can make the separation process a much easier one.
Decide on How Your Assets Will Be Divided
How are your assets going to be split up? As previously mentioned, since your assets are more combined after decades of marriage, having a lawyer help split up the assets will likely expedite the process. Utah is an Equitable Distribution state, meaning that the assets are divided up fairly, but not necessarily equally. Equitable Distribution can be confusing for many couples to navigate. This is especially true since many couples have amassed assets of all kinds together. Deciding how these will be divided up can be a very intricate process, and full financial disclosure is essential. Reviewing Utah divorce records and disclosure requirements can give you a clearer picture of what to expect. If there is a good deal of conflict over who is getting what, a lawyer will almost certainly need to be involved.
Consider Selling Your House
While you and your ex are dividing up assets, you will eventually get to the house. Who is keeping the house? This is a difficult question for a lot of couples to answer. Many people become emotionally attached to their homes and are quite unwilling to entertain the idea of selling them. However, all couples should at the very least seriously consider selling the home. It is often very difficult to split the home through equity. If you are interested in keeping the home, it is important to consider if you can actually afford to keep the house. Now that your income is a fraction of what it used to be, keeping the house may no longer make sense financially.
Consider Your Financial Future
Not only will you need to consider if you can afford the house, you will also need to consider how you will move forward financially in general. How will you be able to afford the everyday bills on a reduced income? What will your new income look like after the assets have been divided up? If you are already retired, you may find yourself wondering whether you will need to go back to work to cover the gap. Building a realistic post-divorce budget early in the process can help you plan for these unknowns with more confidence.
In late-in-life divorces, spousal support is also a frequent point of contention. If you or your spouse will need additional financial support due to physical disabilities or chronic illness, you may be overwhelmed by questions about the amount of spousal support payments and the duration of them. These unknowns can create real challenges in planning for the future, which is exactly why having an experienced family law attorney on your side matters.
When You’re Going Through a Divorce
What Makes Later-in-Life Divorce Different
Divorcing after decades of marriage, sometimes called gray divorce, raises issues that younger couples rarely face. The focus shifts from custody to finances and the future, especially retirement security. With less time to rebuild savings, the decisions you make now carry extra weight.
Financial Issues to Watch
A few areas deserve special attention later in life:
- Dividing retirement accounts and pensions, which often requires special court orders.
- Understanding Social Security options after a long marriage.
- Deciding what to do with a long-held family home.
- Updating estate plans, wills, and beneficiary designations.
- Planning realistically for healthcare costs.
Because retirement assets can be complex, professional guidance is well worth it. A Utah divorce attorney experienced with complex assets can help protect what you have built.
Looking Ahead With Confidence
A later-in-life divorce is also a chance to design the next chapter on your own terms. Lean on your support network, take care of your health, and give yourself permission to imagine a fulfilling future. The end of a long marriage is hard, but it is not the end of a good life. Contact our team to plan your next steps.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the biggest concern in a gray divorce?
Usually finances, especially dividing retirement assets and ensuring security with less time to rebuild savings.
Can I claim Social Security on my ex’s record?
After a long marriage you may have options. Confirm the specifics with the Social Security Administration and your attorney.
There is a good reason divorce is considered to be a traumatic event. Divorces are extremely painful, life-changing events, and during the process, many people have a difficult time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. At CoilLaw, we can help you make divorce an easier and more painless experience. Jill Coil and her team understand the complexities of late-in-life divorces. If you have questions about divorcing after decades of marriage, we can answer your questions and help you feel more secure about the future.
