Financial abuse is present in 99% of emotionally abusive and physically abusive relationships. Yet, it seems like nobody is talking about it, and many people do not even know what financial abuse is. Simply put, financial abuse is when your significant other uses your finances, shared or otherwise, as a means of control. Financial abuse is also a core part of what researchers now call coercive control, a pattern Utah courts increasingly recognize in custody and protective order decisions. Sadly, this type of abuse typically begins in a very gradual manner. And, because financial abuse itself does not leave any physical marks, it can be challenging to recognize.

What Is Normal?

It is common for victims of this type of abuse to be manipulated into believing that the abusive behavior is totally normal. Therefore, in order to recognize financial abuse, it is important to have a good understanding of what is normal and what is not. It is normal for couples to share all of their finances. In fact, many financial and marital experts suggest it. It is also normal, and very much recommended, to have open and honest conversations about financial issues. Since so many couples fight about money, the majority of marital experts suggest being completely honest with your partner regarding your purchases.

What Is Not Normal?

The Shelter for Abused Women and Children have isolated two types of financial abusers. The type 1 abuser controls you by making you financially dependent on them. The type 2 abuser controls you by spending all of your money.

Financially Taking Advantage of You – Financially abusive partners may spend large sums of your money without asking, run up your credit cards, or open accounts in your name without asking. They may also demand that you pay for their debts or support them financially. In financially abusive relationships, the abusive party may force you to share your money while they refuse to share theirs.

Interfering with Your Ability to Work – In order to ensure you cannot leave the relationship, a financially abusive significant other may attempt to sabotage your career. This may include harassing you at work, withholding transportation, refusing to provide childcare, or causing fights that prevent you from being able to work effectively. By undermining your ability to earn an income, the abuser keeps you dependent.

Controlling the Finances – A financially abusive partner may also take extreme measures to control the finances. Controlling the finances may look like a partner putting you on a strict allowance that they themselves are not subject to. In order to exert control, they might refuse to allow you to have your name on home and auto loans, even if these items were purchased jointly. You may be forced to ask permission before buying anything. A financially abusive significant other may attempt to prevent you from accessing any financial information by intercepting mailed statements or refusing to share passwords.

Leaving a Financially Abusive Marriage

Financial abuse often leaves victims feeling uncertain and vulnerable. Many victims of this type of abuse stay because they are financially dependent on their abuser. Others stay because their significant others have ruined them financially. In both cases, many victims feel as though they have nowhere else to go. If you need help leaving a financially abusive relationship, CoilLaw is here for you. Jill Coil and her team of attorneys are committed to helping those in financially abusive relationships find a clear path out.

What Financial Abuse Looks Like

Financial abuse is a form of control in which one partner uses money to dominate the other. It is one of the most common, and most hidden, forms of domestic abuse, and it can trap someone in a relationship by making leaving feel impossible. Recognizing it is the first step toward getting free.

Common Warning Signs

Financial abuse can take many forms, including:

Controlling all the money and giving you an allowance.
Blocking you from working or sabotaging your job.
Hiding accounts, assets, or information from you.
Running up debt in your name without consent.
Demanding receipts and monitoring every purchase.

If several of these feel familiar, you are not imagining it, and you are not alone.

Steps Toward Protecting Yourself

If it is safe to do so, you can begin to protect yourself by quietly gathering copies of important financial documents, opening an account in your own name, and checking your credit report for accounts you did not authorize. Reach out to people you trust, and consider contacting a domestic violence advocate, who can help you plan safely. If you are ever in immediate danger, contact emergency services right away.

The Law Can Help

Financial abuse can be relevant in a divorce, particularly when a spouse has hidden assets or run up secret debt. Courts can address dissipated or concealed assets, and protective orders are available when there is abuse. A Salt Lake City divorce attorney can help you uncover hidden assets and protect your finances and safety. Contact our team for confidential guidance.

You Are Not Powerless

One of the cruelest effects of financial abuse is the belief that you have no way out. In reality, you have more options than it may feel like right now. Many communities offer free resources, including domestic violence advocates, legal aid, and financial counseling, that specialize in helping people in exactly this situation. Rebuilding financial independence after abuse takes time, but it is absolutely possible, and you do not have to do it alone. Start small: one document gathered, one account opened, one trusted person told. Each step rebuilds both your security and your confidence. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and the right support can change everything.