Five Money Mistakes that Can Damage Your Marriage

Having Separate Accounts Just to Hide Things

There’s nothing wrong with having separate accounts—sometimes it just works better that way. However, if you’ve got separate accounts just so you can hide things from your spouse, that may be a problem. If you have a problem with Yu-Gi-Oh cards that’s causing you to be unable to pay your half of the bills, you should not be maintaining separate accounts so that your spouse doesn’t find out about it. If you and your spouse have separate accounts so that you won’t fight about money, that may be a sign that you and your spouse need to get on the same page about money. This is especially important if you and your spouse aren’t meeting your family’s financial goals, and/or are behind on bills. There’s nothing wrong with having separate accounts, but it may not be a good idea if you have separate accounts to hide your financial situation or avoid confronting financial incompatibilities.

Building up Credit Card Debt Faster than You Can Pay It Off

Credit cards can be a problem for some couples, especially in households where there isn’t a lot of discretionary income. A sign that credit cards may be contributing to your family’s financial stress may be that you cannot pay your credit card’s balance in full at the end of the month. If you are paying interest on your credit cards, that may be a sign that the family budget needs to be reconsidered. Credit card interest can be very expensive, especially if you have a high-interest rate credit cards. In some cases, the interest rate alone can add years to the payoff date of a balance. If you’re struggling with your credit card balance, it may be time for you and your spouse to work together on coming up with a budget and a plan for paying off the balance.

Living at the Edge of Your Means

The average mortgage payment in America is around $2,200 per month, and the average car payment is around $740 per month. If you’ve got a house and two cars, you may already be strapped for cash—especially once you consider all the other items on the budget (food, utilities, dates, pets, etc.) If you’re living at the edge of your means, that may add financial stress to a marriage, especially if you and your spouse aren’t on the same page about what the family’s financial goals are. In some cases, it may make sense to downgrade the house or car in order to reduce the financial stress between you and your spouse. If you are deciding on whether or not to purchase a new car, it may be a good idea to consider how its monthly payment will fit into your budget.

Cash Out Refinances and HELOCs

A cash out refinance is when a homeowner—typically one with a substantial amount of equity—is able to refinance, and perhaps even extend the length of their mortgage, in exchange for the equity that they have in the home. However, this can bring a lot of stress and pressure. Generally speaking, this increases the length of the mortgage as well as the minimum monthly payment. If you are considering geting a cash out refinance, it may be a good idea to speak with a financial adviser (importantly, someone who’s not trying to sell you on a cash out refinance) to walk through your options. HELOCs, similar to cash-out refinances, are only a good idea in a very limited number of situations. Cash-out refinances and HELOCs used to buy more stuff, pay off debt, remodel the home, etc can add a lot of financial stress.

Lending Money

Lending money you don’t have to friends and family who aren’t genuinely in need can cause a lot of problems. Resentment can build if you and your spouse are expected to loan money to family members who are consistently squandering their financial potential. If you and your spouse are already struggling financially to begin with, you may begin to resent the family member you’re lending money to, and you may also begin to resent each other. Do not lend money with the expectation that it will be paid back. Although it would be nice to be able to rely upon friends and family to make good on their payments, it’s never a good idea to loan more than you can afford to lose.