Watch Out for Highlight Reels
Everybody Fights
Most people in happy marriages don’t record their fights and post them online for the world to see and draw conclusions. In fact, most of them don’t even tell their close friends about their fights. While you might see your friends happy marriages plastered all over social media and insist, “I know them, and it really is that great in real life,” you still don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Most couples fight sometimes—even the happy ones—in fact, it’s not normal not to fight ever. Relationships all have conflict. Some of the strongest marriages have had dark times and many couples have had to go to counselling. Social media may have you feeling like there’s something wrong with your marriage because you’re viewing highlight reel after highlight reel of couples during the good times—remember, it wouldn’t be socially acceptable for them to post the bad times, and it might even hurt their metrics if people found out that they weren’t perfect after all.
Being a Trad Wife Is Hard
There’s been a movement that’s focused on glamourizing the traditional role of being a housewife. While being a stay-at-home mom is very rewarding for a lot of women, it is a very difficult job. Forbes has estimated that the average stay-at-home mom does $150,000 of work per year. That means that you’d have to pay around $150,000 to outsource everything the average stay-at-home mom does! Wrangling children, preparing the food, doing all the grocery shopping, meal planning, running errands, doing laundry, and deep cleaning the house all adds up. If you don’t look like a runway model and your house isn’t immaculate by the end of the day, that’s totally normal. Most people aren’t able to keep up with the demands of managing a home and caring for the children at the same time.
It’s Normal to Struggle Financially
In this economy, it all adds up. While you might see glamourous vacations, spa days, fancy date nights, spacious and perfectly cleaned homes, most people can’t afford to live like that—and that’s okay. The lives that are seen on social media are much more luxurious than what the average person can afford—and remember, there’s no guarantee that these social media influencers can afford these extravagant lifestyles either. Most of the mansions you see on social media are mortgaged. Many of these families are drowning in credit card debt trying to keep up with everyone else. If you and your spouse are looking around and feeling a little like you’re missing out, just remember: it’s okay not to have what everyone else has. In fact, they may even be under some serious financial stress because of everything they have.
Looks Fade
Unless you’re a vampire, you’re probably going to get wrinkles, and there will certainly be other signs of aging as well—especially if you’ve got kids. While social media is filled with beautiful people who look like they haven’t aged in the past century, let alone birthed five children, it’s important to remember that you and your spouse aren’t going to be young forever, and it’s not reasonable to expect yourselves to look young forever. While it’s important to maintain your physical health so that you can be there for your family and pursue active hobbies with them, expecting your spouse (or yourself) to look like a movie star who has the time and resources to constantly look fabulous isn’t realistic.
Social Media Makes People Dissatisfied
Social media makes people dissatisfied with their own lives and their marriages. It’s easy to see how this could happen when you’re constantly viewing people showing off their adorable marriages, perfect kids, beautiful homes, fun date nights, and gorgeous features. But the reality is that nobody’s life looks like that 24/7. The problem is that the average person isn’t posting their average lives and, if they are, their average lives aren’t getting much engagement because everyone else is too busy watching the “perfect” lives. We currently live in an age where we’re starting to figure it out: social media can make us unhappy. If you’re struggling with feelings of dissatisfaction because your life doesn’t compare to what you see online, it may be worth unplugging and exploring these feelings with a therapist or licensed mental health professional.
When You’re Going through Divorce
If you’re going through divorce, CoilLaw is here for you. Our attorneys are dedicated to helping you get the best outcome possible. If you’ve got questions about your divorce, contact us today to set up your initial consultation.
