What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?

What Is a Personality Disorder?

A personality disorder generally affects the way a person sees themselves and the world around them. Those who suffer from personality disorders may act in ways that are contrary to their goals, or they may react to situations in ways that are harmful to themselves, their relationships, their employment, and more. While having a personality disorder can make it more difficult to have a successful career, marriage, or maintain friendships, it’s definitely not impossible. Many people who have personality disorders live fulfilling lives where they have happy marriages, successful careers, and more. However, if you have a personality disorder, you may face additional difficulties in life. Although personality disorders aren’t curable, they can be treated, and with the help of therapy and medication, those who have personality disorders may be able to lead normal lives.

Fear of Abandonment

Many people who have borderline personality disorder suffer from a fear of abandonment. Fear of abandonment can look different from person to person. Some people may cling desperately to their partners in order to prevent them from leaving. Others may push their partners away or refuse to get into relationships in the first place. When a person has BPD, they may be constantly on the lookout for signs that a person is going to leave them. If a person’s abandonment fear is triggered, they may call numerous times, or cling to their significant other. Or they may abruptly end the relationship and shut the other person out.

Unstable Relationships

People who have borderline personality disorder may have a lot of very intense, but very short-lived relationships. Many people who have BPD report having relationships where there’s a lot of conflict involved in the relationships. Those with BPD tend to have a very black-and-white way of thinking, and this applies to people as well: they’re either all good, or all bad. Because of the tendency to view people as either 100% good or 100% bad, those with BPD tend to feel very strongly about their partners, which only adds to the intensity of the unstable relationship.

Self-Image

People who are suffering from borderline personality disorder often have an unstable sense of self image. Sometimes, they feel as if they’re unstoppable and totally on top of the world, yet other times they feel as though they’re the worst person in the world, and a total failure. A person with BPD may not have stable values, morals, or world views. Instead, they may switch from one worldview to another, rapidly—especially if they believe it will help them avoid abandonment. Those who suffer from BPD may switch their opinions rapidly too in order to fit in with others and ensure that others like them.

Impulsive Behaviors

People who have BPD may engage in impulsive behaviors such as binge eating, or excessive spending. They may also binge on recreational drugs or alcohol. Some people with borderline personality disorder have also engaged in risky sexual activity—such as an affair, or intimacy with a person they’ve never met. These behaviors may be used to cope with trauma and emotional stress in the person’s day to day life. While they feel good in the moment, there are usually consequences that come with them, and they often tend to make things worse in the long run.

Strong Emotions

Those who suffer from BPD generally have strong emotions and can even be very perceptive of others’ emotions. Explosive anger is a common symptom of borderline personality disorder. Though these emotions are often very intense, they can change rapidly. It’s not uncommon for people who are suffering from BPD to have very intense mood swings that accompany their other BPD symptoms.

Feelings of Emptiness

Many people who have BPD feel as though there’s a “void” inside of them, as if they feel sort of empty. Sadly, many people attempt to fill this void with self-destructive coping behaviors such as dangerous sexual activity, recreational substances, or binge eating. Unfortunately, those activities do not fill the void, and the person who’s suffering often ends up feeling much worse after engaging in self-destructive coping activities. Others may try to fill the void with relationships—and this may intensify the fear of abandonment.

Getting Treatment

If you or your spouse are suffering from BPD, your story does not have to end in divorce. Though BPD has its unique challenges, many people who have BPD are able to have happy and successful marriages. Working with a qualified mental health professional can help you and your spouse navigate BPD and its challenges. No matter what you’re going through, you deserve to be loved.