Most people will admit that they’ve had the urge to go through a significant other’s things. In a relationship, it’s normal to feel insecure from time to time, or have brief moments of doubt. However, if you’re consistently tempted to go through your significant other’s things, or you have gone through your significant other’s things, there may be a deeper issue that needs to be resolved before the relationship can continue to grow. So should you look through your significant other’s things? Well, maybe not.
For the most part, you should refrain from going through your significant other’s phone, computer, email, and other social media accounts. Though it’s important for couples to be open and honest with each other, the urge to go through your significant other’s things should be an alert that there may be problems with the relationship. This is especially true if you have the urge to look through your significant other’s things despite not having a reasonable suspicion of cheating. When presented with good reasons to believe the significant other is cheating, some people may decide to go through their significant other’s things to seek confirmation before ending the relationship. It should also be noted that snooping through your significant other’s things may be illegal depending on what you access.
Starting a Cycle
Once you begin going through your significant other’s phone, social media accounts, and other things, it may be hard to quit. Sometimes people preemptively decide that their partner cheated and nothing can shake that conviction, even going through the significant other’s items without finding anything. If you already believe that your significant other has cheated, and you believe that you cannot work through it, it may be time to end the relationship. If you begin going through your significant other’s things, hoping to find evidence, you may end up in a cycle where you search through your significant other’s things every time you need reassurance that your significant other isn’t unfaithful.
If you’re tempted to go through your significant other’s phone, that may be a sign that you have insecurities that need to be addressed and worked through. Everyone feels insecure from time to time; it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Your feelings are valid and important. However, it’s important to express your feelings in an appropriate way. Going through your significant other’s things may not be an appropriate way to express your feelings. Depending on your situation, it may be a good idea to share these insecurities with your significant other and/or a mental health professional. If you’re frequently and deeply concerned about your partner cheating on you despite not having any evidence of cheating, this may be something you can work through and find peace in the relationship.
Sometimes, people feel as though their significant other is cheating because their significant other behaves inappropriately, or has not maintained appropriate boundaries. In these cases, a person may feel tempted to go through their significant other’s things. If your significant other is behaving inappropriately, you may need to discuss your concerns with them. If you’ve already discussed your concerns with your significant other, but they seem to be unwilling to change, it may be time to end the relationship. You deserve to be in a relationship where you aren’t feeling threatened enough to go through your significant other’s phone or items.
Working through Issues
Depending on your reasoning for wanting to go through your significant other’s things, you may want to try individual counseling, couple’s counseling, or both. Many issues can be overcome if both parties are willing to put in the necessary effort and make changes. However, not all relationships or marriages can be saved. This is especially true if your significant other is behaving inappropriately and does not intend to change. Furthermore, if one party has insecurities that interfere with their ability to trust their partner, the relationship may not be able to grow as much. In these cases, the person with insecurities may need to work through those insecurities and overcome them in order for the relationship to progress.
When You’re Considering Divorce
If you find that you no longer can trust your spouse, and you’re ready to begin the divorce process, CoilLaw is here for you. Consulting with an attorney is generally the first step in obtaining the best outcome possible in the divorce process. Our initial consultations can help you prepare for the reality of divorce and help you understand your rights. If you’re considering divorce, meet with one of our attorneys for an initial consultation today.