After a divorce, a lot of people are ready to begin dating again. However, it’s important to be mindful about who you’re dating—especially if you’ve recently finalized your divorce. A lot of people find that building a healthy relationship is easier if they wait until they’ve healed from the pain of divorce. If you’re looking for a long term relationship, a good candidate is someone who is emotionally mature and mentally complete; they aren’t looking for someone to fill a specific void in their lives because their lives are already complete. Instead, they’re looking for someone who can enhance their already good life.
They Don’t Need to Be Taken Care Of
A person who’s ready to be in a relationship isn’t looking for someone to take care of them financially, emotionally, or mentally. If a person is truly ready to be in a relationship, they’re going to be searching for someone who’s going to be a good companion. They aren’t going to be searching for a partner who doubles as an ATM or therapist. Although there’s nothing wrong with having a therapist, one should not search for a significant other in place of a therapist. A person who’s constantly talking about their problems may be looking for someone to emotionally support them in a role that would be more suited for a therapist. Similarly, a person who’s overly concerned with what kind of car their significant other drives, what kind of job their significant other has, or how much money their significant other makes may be a person who’s looking for someone to financially support them.
They Aren’t Afraid of Their Emotions
People express emotions to varying degrees. While some people are very expressive in their emotions, others are more stoic. While there’s nothing wrong with being stoic, a consistent refusal to acknowledge emotions may be a red flag. When emotions aren’t acknowledged they can build up and eventually explode. A person who’s ready to be in a relationship is comfortable with all of their emotions and can express them readily, as problems may arise when a person refuses to admit or express unpleasant emotions. An emotionally mature person does not suppress or run from their feelings.
They Can Let Things Go
An emotionally mature person can let things go, especially when they don’t matter in the long run. For example if you’re insisting that the off brand of sharp cheddar is not the same as the name brand, an emotionally mature person is willing to buy the name brand even though the ingredients on the package are the same. An emotionally mature person is able to recognize that, even though they can prove they’re right, your happiness is more important than being right. Emotionally mature people don’t need to be right at the expense of your happiness when it’s an issue that doesn’t even affect your relationship.
They Aren’t Afraid of Introspection
A person who’s ready for a relationship is able to look at any given situation and, at the very least, entertain the idea that they may have contributed to the problem in some way. There are very few situations where one party is 100% at fault. A person who approaches conflict by considering where they may have made a mistake instead of focusing all the blame on their partner will likely be a better companion than someone who cannot admit their mistakes. Oftentimes, a person needs to go through therapy in order to be emotionally ready for a relationship. A person who’s ready to be in a relationship is a person who isn’t afraid to go to therapy when they need to.
They Aren’t Afraid to Apologize or Forgive
An emotionally mature person is good at apologizing and receiving apologies. Furthermore, a good person to date is one who recognizes that, even though they may not be sorry for what they’ve said, it’s important to apologize for hurting another person’s feelings. These people also understand that forgiveness is something that a person does for themselves. Therefore they forgive freely and they do not hang onto the past. An emotionally mature person will not remember every mistake that you’ve made, especially when it comes to small and insignificant ones. The ideal person isn’t afraid to forgive because they’re willing to end relationships when their forgiving nature is being taken for granted.
No One Dies from Divorce
If you’ve been struggling with the divorce process, No One Dies from Divorce is the book for you. Though divorce itself cannot kill you, the pain divorce causes can lead even the strongest people to the darkest places. No One Dies from Divorce is a book about how to navigate the divorce process and thrive after it’s over.