Do Stay at Home Moms Have to Get a Job after Divorce?
The Short Answer: Probably
Stay-at-home parents will probably have to find a job after the divorce is finalized. A lot of television shows, movies, and media like to paint women as gold-diggers who take half of everything in the divorce and continue to mooch off of the ex-husband after the divorce is finalized. While some people do have this luxury, the vast majority of people struggle to make ends meet after divorce. Many stay-at-home moms and stay-at-home dads are forced to find work after the divorce is finalized. Assets are generally divided fairly—or “equitably” —meaning that it’s unlikely that one party will get everything, and the other party will be reduced to panhandling. If you are getting a divorce, and you are a stay-at-home parent, you will likely need to find work in order to at least help to support yourself and your children.
What about Alimony?
Alimony varies a lot. There’s no standard formula for calculating how much alimony you will have to pay (or how much you’re entitled to receive). Instead, this is left up to a judge’s discretion. Typically, judges start by evaluating the lower-earning party’s need and the higher-earning party’s ability to pay. Even if your spouse can pay the alimony, and you need the alimony, there’s no guarantee that it will be enough to live off of. Furthermore, what’s enough for some to live off of may not be enough for others to live off of. Another consideration that needs to be made: alimony isn’t typically forever. Depending on where you live and other factors, you may only get a couple of years of alimony. During this time, you will need to figure out how you’ll financially support yourself in the future. While life-long alimony does exist in some states, it’s typically reserved for cases where the couple has been married for decades, and the lower-earning spouse is unable to work (typically due to physical disability).
Can You Live off Child Support?
Child-support can cover items like groceries, utility bills, rent/mortgage payments, children’s needs, and more. Child-support laws vary from state to state but, generally speaking, you can be ordered to pay child support even if you and your spouse both make a lot of money. For example, Kelly Clarkson was famously ordered to pay her ex around $50,000 per month in child support despite her ex being worth millions. This is because courts do not want to have the children to have a lavish life at one parent’s house and be impoverished at the other parent’s house. So, if your spouse is particularly well-off, it may be possible to live off of child support alone. However, most people do not have a spouse who’s able to pay $50,000 per month in child support. In most cases, after the necessities are covered, there isn’t any child support left over to cover the cost of anything frivolous.
The Financial Impact of Divorce
Of course, the stay-at-home parent will suffer financially during the divorce process. However, working parents often struggle during the divorce process as well. While the working parent is in the office, the stay-at-home parent often acts as “free daycare.” The value of this cannot be understated. Daycare can easily run up to $1,000 per month, per child. Many daycare centers do not accept children who attend daycare part-time either. Baby-sitters and other forms of childcare are often very expensive as well. Some families even share the cost of a baby-sitter in order to afford the financial strain. This is something that should be considered when you and your spouse are discussing divorce. A lot of people think divorce is a solution that will solve all their problems but, in reality, divorce typically just trades one set of problems for another set of problems—which are arguably worse in some situations.
The Importance of Education and Experience
Lately, the idea of being a “trad-wife” is being glamorized all over social media. While being a stay-at-home mom (or stay-at-home dad) can be a wonderful thing, it’s typically beneficial for people to have education and work experience before they start having children. Spouses aren’t a reliable financial plan. Sometimes they leave their marriages no matter how much the other person tries to make it work. Sometimes they pass away suddenly and unexpectedly (in a car accident, for example). Those who can support themselves will inevitably have an easier time coping with the financial implications of the loss of their spouse than those who have no work experience or education. They also generally have the freedom to be more selective about who they choose to partner with in the future as they won’t feel the financial strain motivating them to partner with someone sooner out of necessity.
When You’re Getting Divorced
If you’re getting divorced, CoilLaw is here for you. Our team of attorneys have the knowledge and experience to fight for your rights and get the best outcome possible. If you’re getting divorced, contact us to get started on your consultation.
