Who Makes the Rules about Parental Controls
What Does Your Custody Order (Decree) Say?
When it comes to disputes that you and your ex cannot reach an agreement upon, you’ll need to get out your divorce decree and look over that. In the case where two parents cannot decide upon which movies and/or television shows that the children should be able to watch, or what video games the children should be able to play, the parenting plan might have answers to resolve such disputes. If your parenting plan has specific language, such as, “the children are not allowed to watch movies that have a rating other than G or PG,” you will have to either follow that, or go to court in an attempt to get the decree changed. If you fail to follow the parenting plan outlined in the decree, your ex may take you to court, or they may make your life difficult in other ways. It should be noted that children are very perceptive and will be able to tell when there’s tension between their parents.
When the Order Doesn’t Specify
If your parenting plan does not specify what kinds of content the children are allowed to engage with, you and your spouse may need to work together to figure out what’s in the child’s best interests. In some cases, it may be a good idea to go along with your spouse’s requests just to keep the peace. This may be a good idea if you’re trying to minimize the amount of conflict and tension between yourself and your spouse. In many cases, this may be the best option—especially if your spouse is the one who wants more parental controls and stricter settings. While you can always take the issue to the court, it may not be the best use of your time and money—this is particularly true for cases where the children aren’t displaying symptoms of being harmed by the content. Generally speaking, parents have the right to make decisions about what their children watch and what media they engage in—however, it’d be good for children to only engage in age appropriate content.
How Does the Content Affect the Children?
Seeing mature content at a young age can be traumatic for children, especially if they’re not old enough to emotionally process what they’ve just seen. For example, if your ex loves horror movies, and is watching them with the children present, and the child has nightmares as a result, that may be a sign that the child isn’t old enough to be watching scary movies. Similarly, it could also be an issue if the child begins having behavioral issues after the other parent allows him or her to play violent video games. If the content that the child is witnessing or engaging with is causing them emotional distress and/or behavioral problems, that may be a sign that they need more parental controls.
When It’s a Phone
Children don’t typically “own” their own phone. After all, you have to be at least the age of majority in order to enter in to a legal contract. This means that most teenagers don’t technically own their own phones and have rights to it. In most cases, the phone belongs to whoever pays for the phone. However, who exactly owns the phone once the parents are divorced may be up for debate. If your child has a smartphone and you want to have full access to it, you may need to negotiate that by being willing to pay for at least half of the phone. If you and your spouse both pay for the phone, you’re more likely to have a say in how the phone gets used, when it gets used, and what parental controls will be put in place on the phone.
When It’s Alienation
Sometimes parents will allow a child to play a video game or watch a film that they know the ex wouldn’t approve of. Typically, this is used to alienate the child from the other parent. The alienating parents do this in hopes that, by being the “cool parent,” the child will want to spend more time away from the alienated parent. Unfortunately, this works in many cases. If your ex is intentionally allowing your child to get away with bad behavior, refusing to set appropriate boundaries, and/or over-indulging the child, to create a fracture in your relationship with the child, that may be alienation. If you have concerns about your child and their relationship with your ex, CoilLaw is here for you. Contact us today to set up your initial consultation.
