Father of an Unplanned Pregnancy—What Now?
Time for a Wedding?
Whether or not you decide to marry due to an unplanned pregnancy is up to you. In the United States, there is no legal obligation to marry someone just because you’re going to have a child with them. Parents to children born outside of wedlock will have the same rights as parents who have children within a marriage. However, it should be noted that it may be considerably more difficult to get a paternity test if you do not live with the child and the mother is refusing to facilitate the test being completed. In this case, you may need to petition the court to order the mother’s cooperation in completing a paternity test. If you and your child’s mother are married, you will already be presumed to be the father and will not have to establish paternity—unless the mother claims that you are not the father, in which case you may have to submit to a paternity test if you insist that you are the father. If you don’t believe you’re the father, you may also seek out a paternity test to verify paternity.
Get a Paternity Test if You Are Unsure
If you have been told that you are about to be a father, but you have reason to doubt that you are the father, you can—and should—get a paternity test. If a court is ordering you to take a paternity test, you cannot refuse to take the test. Refusal to take the test could potentially result in the court finding that you are the presumptive father if no other person is identified as a possible father. When a baby is born outside of a marriage, the father may be asked to sign a voluntary acknowledgement of paternity. If you are asked to sign this, and you are unsure of whether or not you are the father of the child, you may want to take a paternity test before you sign a voluntary acknowledgement of paternity. If you sign this, and you are not the father, relinquishing your rights to the child may not be an easy thing, meaning you could be fiscally responsible even if the child is not yours. If you do not sign it, you may be deprived of access to the child until deemed the father.
Decide on Being Involved
While being the child’s biological father does entitle you to some rights to the child, your involvement with the child can minimize or maximize your rights to the child. For example, if you leave town and don’t see your child for the first ten years of their life, obtaining physical custody is probably not going to be a walk in the park. You will likely start out with minimal custody and have to work your way up while you and your child go through reunification therapy. Although the courts do care about you being the child’s biological parent, they also care about precedent—meaning what the arrangements have been previously established and maintained. Therefore, they do not allow parents of either gender to randomly show up in the child’s life, whenever convenient, and demand custody.
When Adoption is an Option
In most states, both parents need to consent to the adoption in order for a child to be put up for adoption. If the mother wishes to keep the baby, you can technically eschew all parental responsibility and just pay child support—however you will likely have to pay child support unless someone (typically a stepparent) legally adopts the child in your place. However, it should be noted that it is possible for a child to be put up for adoption without the father even knowing that the child existed in the first place. While this isn’t supposed to happen, it can happen, especially if the child was born out of state and the father is not registered as a putative father in the state the child is born in. If you have questions about your rights as a father, CoilLaw is here for you. Contact us today to get started on your initial consultation.
When the Woman Chooses Abortion
Fathers do not have a right to determine whether the woman has an abortion or not. It does not matter if the father of the child is married to the mother of the child; no matter the circumstances, the decision to terminate the pregnancy is always up to the woman alone. While men may not have the legal right to choose whether or not the pregnancy is terminated, some men do grieve after a woman has chosen to terminate a pregnancy they fathered. This is particularly common in cases where the father wanted to keep the baby. If you have fathered a child, and the mother of the child has chosen to terminate the pregnancy, there are resources for coping. A licensed mental health professional can help point you in the right direction for support and guidance.
