They Have to Be Dragged to the Alter
If your significant other had to be dragged to the alter, that should be taken as a big flashing sign that you should reconsider this whole thing. If your significant other repeatedly made excuses as to why they didn’t want to get engaged, dragged their feet on choosing a date for the wedding, and has shown a blatant disinterest in wedding planning, that may be a sign that they’re not 100% on board with the wedding in the first place. Believe it or not, people really do marry people that they didn’t want to marry in the first place. Maybe they’re still hung up on their ex. It could be that they’ve dated the person they’re with for so long that they don’t feel like starting over. Perhaps their parents have pressured them into marriage. If you have the feeling that your significant other isn’t absolutely dying to marry you, that may be a sign not to marry them.
The Relationship Is Already Having Problems
Much like having a baby doesn’t fix a relationship that’s having problems, getting married is also generally not the best way to fix a relationship that’s having problems. In fact, in some cases, getting married could complicate the problems as now both parties are committed to each other and the relationship’s problems forever. Many times, problems within the relationship can be solved, especially when you get mental health professionals involved. However, there are times where issues cannot be resolved, and you don’t want to wait to find out that your issues cannot be resolved until after the wedding. Nobody’s perfect and, as a result, relationships aren’t perfect either. However, if you feel dread at the thought of putting up with your partner’s imperfections for the rest of your life, it may be a good idea to reconsider the marriage or at least hold off until you’re confident that you’ve resolved the issues that your relationship has.
You Envy Others’ Relationships
If you frequently look at other people’s relationships and think, “I wish my partner did that for me, but s/he never would,” that’s probably not a good sign. While comparison is often the thief of joy, it can also signal that something isn’t right, especially if you’re noticing that other people are having their needs met by their relationships, but your needs are not being met by your relationship. Nobody’s relationship is perfect, and the grass frequently isn’t greener on the other side. However, if you’re consistently noticing that all your friends have partners who adore them while your partner seems to be almost indifferent about you, that may be a sign that you shouldn’t marry them.
You’re Fundamentally Incompatible
Most incompatibilities can be overlooked, however there are some incompatibilities that should not be overlooked. If you and your significant other do not agree on having children or religion, those may be large incompatibilities to overcome—especially if you both want children but cannot agree on which religion to raise the children in. Life-long goals aren’t usually incompatible, but they can be. For example, if it’s your dream to live on a homestead in the middle of nowhere, that may clash with your spouse’s dream to become a runway model with one of the most exclusive agencies in New York City. As previously mentioned, most incompatibilities can be overcome, but if you and your spouse cannot agree on the most fundamental things, that could cause a problem.
You Don’t Want to Live Like This Forever
Nobody’s perfect. When you get married, there’s bound to be something you have to put up with: maybe your spouse has a video game habit that you can’t stand, or maybe they’re obsessively neat. Whatever it is, there’s sure to be something about them that you wish you could change. However, most people choose to accept these things. After all, if the worst thing your spouse does is play World of Warcraft on Friday nights, well maybe that’s not all that bad. The question really boils down to this: can you happily live with this relationship forever? Although divorce is legal, marriage is still supposed to be forever—you don’t want to go through a divorce if you don’t have to. If you cringe at the idea of spending the rest of your life with this person, that should be a sign that you should not get married. If you are considering divorce, and you’re ready explore your options, contact CoilLaw today.
