You’ve probably seen the goofball guys on the internet loudly proclaiming that women shouldn’t have Instagram if they’re married. Knowing what studies have revealed about social media, it’s probably fair to ask whether either gender should have social media, even when they’re single. But the issue is especially relevant to married couples since social media platforms have made cheating easier than ever.

Should Your Spouse Have Social Media?

Whether or not social media has a place in your spouse’s life is a personal matter that will depend on each individual’s circumstances. Though an increasing number of people have decided that social media does not spark joy and should thus be thrown out, others have found that social media is a necessary evil for staying in touch with loved ones who have moved out of the state or country. When a couple is deciding whether or not they should have their own social media accounts, share accounts, or to forego social media altogether, they should take great care to make their decisions openly and honestly. While you may not be able to decide whether or not your spouse has social media, you can take measures to have open and honest discussions about social media with your spouse.

No Secret Accounts

Secrets don’t make friends, and they don’t make happy marriages either. It may not be necessary to share accounts, but you and your spouse should not have any secret accounts. If you have a social media account, your spouse should know about it and be able to see what the rest of your friends/followers see. If you feel as though you need a second account because your spouse would not be happy with what you’re posting, it may be time to reevaluate what you’re posting. If you and your spouse cannot agree upon which platforms to use, it may be a good idea to compromise within reason. Although your spouse should be aware of which platforms you’re using, they should not have the right to dictate which social media platforms you use.

Sharing Passwords

Whether or not you and your spouse share passwords will depend on what each party is comfortable with. While some people see sharing passwords as an invasion of privacy, other couples choose to give each other full access in order to promote openness and honesty in the relationship. Sharing all passwords is a great way to build trust and promote honesty, but couples should be careful not to confuse having full access with a license to snoop through their spouse’s items. If you are snooping through your spouse’s items, or considering doing so, this may be a sign that there are trust issues that need to be addressed, even if your spouse has given you full access to all their accounts.

Boundaries

If you and your spouse have social media, it’s important to maintain appropriate boundaries with other people on the platform. If you wouldn’t say it in person or in front of your spouse, there’s a good chance it’s not appropriate to say on social media. Furthermore, relationships that would not be carried on in real life should not be carried on virtually. So if your spouse does not approve of you hanging out with your ex in person, you probably shouldn’t be messaging your ex on social media. While it’s important to maintain appropriate boundaries with your communications on social media, you should also consider the pictures you’re posting and liking on social media. Make sure you and your spouse are on the same page regarding what’s acceptable.

Highlight Reels Aren’t Real

Social media can be damaging for a lot of marriages. Nobody is posting about how the three hour fight they had after their spouse was caught checking out the cashier. Instead, most people are posting only the greatest parts of their life and marriage on social media. This may lead to many people creating unrealistic expectations of their partner and marriage because their marriage doesn’t reflect the curated depiction of others on social media. This can lead to greater dissatisfaction and potentially even resentment. It’s important to recognize that all marriages have their strong points and weak points. If you find that social media is causing you to have unrealistic expectations for your marriage, it may be time to consider taking a break from social media.

When You’re Ready to File

If you’re considering divorce, and you’re ready to explore your legal options, contact CoilLaw today for an initial consultation. Our attorneys are dedicated to helping you achieve the best outcome possible in your divorce. If you’re ready to file, contact CoilLaw today.