Does Income Matter in Dating?
It depends. For what it’s worth, research does consistently show that a higher income is better when it comes to dating, and women tend to be more likely to choose a partner based upon his income—though it should be said that both men and women do have a preference for partners with a higher income. However, income is not the only thing that matters, nor is it necessarily the top priority for most people. Studies show that 61% of women aged 36 to 45 say that a high income or high earning potential is desirable, but less than 10% of women across all age groups say it’s essential. For men aged 36-35, 45% say that a high income is desirable. But fewer than 5% of men across all age groups say that it’s essential. So, while having a high income may be a bonus, it’s certainly not the only thing that matters in dating.
Should Income Matter when Choosing a Partner?
There’s a misogynistic notion that women only care about a man’s wallet. While, as previously stated, studies do show that both genders prefer partners with higher incomes, research has also indicated that having a stable relationship is, for most women, more important than income. In For Men Only Harvard graduate and social researcher Jeff Feldhahn revealed some very interesting data. In a study that surveyed women, nearly 65% of women said they’d rather endure financial struggles than endure relationship insecurity or lack of closeness. Another question was worded as follows: “Put yourself in this scenario: Your husband/significant other has a very well-paying job that requires a lot of hours and emotional attention away from home. You enjoy a comfortable lifestyle and all the enrichment opportunities for the kids that come with it, but you and the children often do feel distant from your husband/significant other, and when you two are together there is often discord. Now suppose that your husband/significant other was offered a different job that he’d enjoy, that would allow much more time with family—but it would also mean a substantial pay cut and some lifestyle adjustments for your family. Which best describes your likely feelings in this scenario?” While 11% of the women said they’d want their husband to take the higher earning job, around 18% were neutral, and nearly 70% said they’d rather him choose the lower earning job because it’s more important to have the husband around. So, while income may play a factor in choosing a partner, it’s certainly not the most important factor.
Should You Go 50 / 50 in a Relationship Financially?
Different things work well for different couples. In some cases, this may work while, in other cases, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to go 50/50 in a relationship. For example, if you are the sole provider and your spouse stays at home with the kids, it probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense for them to contribute to 50% of the family’s finances. Going 50/50 can also create problems for some couples as the relationship can become transactional. Resentment can form when one person has to buy diapers again or shell out for their share of the groceries. “You can’t eat those Oreos; they’re mine! I bought them!” These conversations can happen when couples are going 50/50. Of course, not every couple who goes 50/50 has these problems. However, it can happen.
How Many Couples Break up Over Financial Problems?
Financial problems can be a huge predictor of divorce. Data does show that having more money makes divorce less likely. However, this data may be misleading: not having a lot of money may not cause as many issues as being financially stressed. Look at it this way: imagine a couple who lives in a modest home that’s totally paid off. They have two older cars that are also paid off. They don’t take lavish vacations or have expensive wardrobes, but they don’t experience financial stress either. Compare that couple to the couple who’s living paycheck to paycheck and throwing their mortgage payment on a credit card though they have a household income of $1 million per year. While the latter couple may have more money, their relationship may experience more strain since they’re living above their means.
It’s Not Necessarily How Much You Have…
While most people don’t want to date a person who can’t support themselves—especially after age 30—having a large income is not necessarily the most important predictor of success within a relationship. It’s often much more important to have a partner who has a similar set of values and who will be a good parent for any children you may have. Furthermore, even if you do have a lot of money, you may still have financial fights with your partner if the money is not properly managed.
When You’re Considering Divorce
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