When the person you planned on spending the rest of your life with leaves, it can feel as if they took your better half with them. Divorce can leave you feeling depleted, fragile, and emotionally traumatized. As hard as the end of a marriage is, it is also an opportunity for self-growth if you embrace the transformation and find meaningful life-enhancing lessons.
Falling in love with Someone
When you fall in love and decide to share a life with someone, your priorities, self-image, and emotions become intertwined with that person. People often look for their worth in the love of their partner. This is dangerous because when trouble in paradise comes, not only does it affect the relationship with one another, but also the relationship with oneself. After a divorce, it is normal to question who you are—and who you were before the marriage. As hard as rejection from your spouse is, it is a catalyst for examining your lack of self-worth and self-love.
Marriage is like a safety blanket. When the relationship is going smoothly the need to reflect on inner issues, self-worth, or emotional health seems less of a priority. It is when the blanket is ripped off and the marriage ends that we are challenged to look within ourselves, perceive the lessons, and make changes that are necessary to grow and become self-fulfilled. Self-denial often leads to low self-esteem, so take this opportunity to become a happier, healthier, and wiser version of yourself.
Letting Go
Forgiving yourself, your ex, and the situation as a whole is the first step to healing and learning to love yourself again. Understand that at the end of the day, it was no one’s fault—sometimes cupid just gets it wrong. Accepting the divorce allows you to shift your perspective from mourning the loss to learning about yourself from the relationship.
After divorce, your energy should be focused on you, you, and you. When you practice self-care you will boost your self-esteem, and when you feel good about yourself you will find that you are a better version of yourself. Start by thinking of yourself as a friend that you are responsible for keeping safe, healthy, and happy. Talk to yourself as if you were talking to a friend. Positive self-talk may seem silly, but there have been many studies proving the benefits of speaking and thinking good things about yourself—even if you don’t fully believe them yet.
Practice Positive Self-Care
Regardless of your relationship status, there will always be issues in your life. Coping mechanisms like drinking, overeating, or emotionally shutting down can halt your self-love journey. Practice positive coping skills by starting a new hobby, exercising, meditating, and nourishing your other relationships in your life. All of these ways of practicing self-care are scientifically proven to boost self-esteem. When you love yourself you will be a better parent, friend, and partner. Never underestimate the impact your relationship with yourself has on every other aspect of your life. Self-care and self-love are worth investing your time and energy in.
