Five Things You Can’t Do to Catch Your Spouse Cheating

Secret Audio Recordings

The laws vary quite a bit from state to state but there are some general guidelines you can follow. When it comes to audio recordings, you might be able to record a conversation without the other person’s knowledge, or you may need everyone’s consent in order to be recording. However, for the most part, you can only record conversations that you’re involved in. This means you cannot leave recording devices around your ex’s home, or room (if they’re still living with you). You cannot place recording devices in your ex’s car, office, or any other area that they wouldn’t reasonably expect to be under surveillance. There is one caveat: if you and your ex are still married and you haven’t separated, you may be able to place audio devices and other surveillance equipment in some areas of your home without your spouse’s knowledge. You may not be able to put any sort of surveillance equipment in an area of the home where a person would have a reasonable expectation of privacy (such as a bathroom) but you may be able to put audio-recording devices in a living room, for example. However, the legality of this will vary by state—so don’t do anything without making sure it’s legal first.

Video Recordings

Video recordings follow similar rules to audio-recordings. You can record in public places where people do not have a reasonable expectation of privacy. However, if you are on private property (as in property that is not owned by the state or government) you may be asked to leave, and you could be charged with trespassing if you do not leave. So, if you catch word that your spouse is meeting up with their paramour at the local McDonalds, you can record them eating McDoubles with their paramour since they’re eating in a public place. However, you would not be able to place surveillance equipment in any place where your spouse would have a reasonable expectation of privacy—even if it’s your house. For instance, you can’t install cameras in your bathroom, even if it is your bathroom, as people have a reasonable expectation of privacy when in the bathroom. You could install cameras in your bedroom, but your spouse would have a reasonable expectation of privacy in their own bedroom. Therefore, you’d need to get your spouse to consent before installing the cameras.

Going through Their Phones, Devices, and Accounts

You can’t go through a spouse’s phone without their consent, even if you know the password. The same is true for devices such as Kindles, iPads, computers, etc. It does not matter who purchased the device, nor does it matter who pays the phone bill, or any fees associated with the device. If it is considered to be your spouse’s device, you cannot go through it without their consent. There may be exceptions to this, however. If you have a family computer, for example, you may be able to look at the internet history. But if they leave their account logged in on the family computer, you would not be able to go through it. Joint accounts may be an exception to this. If you and your spouse share a checking account, you would, of course, have access to that and be able to look through the charges.

Tracking Devices

The legality of tracking devices will generally depend on who owns the thing that’s being tracked. Commonly, people place tracking devices in cars—and the legality here can be grey and will almost certainly vary from state to state. Usually, you’re able to place a tracking device in your spouse’s car, without their knowledge, if it’s your car too. However, whether or not you’re in possession of the vehicle could matter. Most couples have two cars, one for each person. If you place a tracking device in a car that is considered to be your spouse’s car, that may be illegal—even if both of your names are technically on the car. If you and your spouse have separated, and the car is still in your name, that doesn’t mean that you have the ability to put a tracking device in your soon-to-be-ex’s car. Doing so may be illegal and may come with criminal consequences. In some states, certain people, such as private investigators, may be licensed to use tracking devices. So you may be able to hire a private investigator to install one if you live in a state where that’s legal.

Spying

One of the most difficult parts about spying in person is that it’s difficult to prove. Furthermore, you can’t just ask someone to leave a public place (like the sidewalk in front of your house). Unfortunately, if your ex is standing outside your residence, but is on public property, it may be difficult to force them to move. Going on to someone’s property and peering into a person’s windows is obviously illegal, as the person doing so would be trespassing. However, standing on the street (or public sidewalk) with binoculars, or simply following someone around as they go from place to place isn’t necessarily illegal, especially if there isn’t an established pattern. As previously mentioned, stalking can be difficult to prove. If your ex is standing in front of your home, showing up at your work, or following you around, having extensive documentation of such events would be very useful evidence for stalking charges or a civil stalking injunction. Legally speaking, you can conduct surveillance on your spouse, or hire a private detective to do so, however, if your behavior (or the detective’s behavior) becomes stalking, there could be legal consequences.