Do You Have to Take Stepchildren or Half Siblings on Your Parent Time?

Your Obligations and Rights

Let’s say you show up at your ex’s house for your parent time, but your ex informs you that you can’t take your child unless you take his or her stepsiblings or half-siblings. Do you have to do that? Unless you have extremely unusual circumstances, the answer is probably no; you are under no obligation to include stepsiblings or half siblings during your parent time with your child. In most cases, parents are only obligated to care for children that are biologically theirs—unless they’ve gone through the process of legally adopting a child that isn’t biologically theirs. Therefore, if you are not legally the parent of your child’s stepsiblings or half siblings, you would not have any obligation to financially support them or take them during your parent time.

Dealing with Ultimatums and Keeping the Peace

Some people will tell their co-parent, “If you don’t take the half-siblings/stepsiblings, you can’t take your child.” If you have court ordered parent time with your child—and that parent time does not extend to stepsiblings and/or half-siblings, which it almost certainly would not—you are under no legal obligation to essentially act as a free babysitter for those children. Furthermore, your ex cannot prevent you from taking your child during your court ordered parent time simply because you refuse to be a free babysitter for your ex’s other children or stepchildren. However, just because you aren’t obligated to do it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t ever do it. If your ex calmly and respectfully asks if your child’s half-sibling or stepsibling can attend during your parent time, it may be worth it to keep the peace and say yes, especially if it’s a one-time thing, or your ex is financially compensating you, and showing consideration for the trouble you’ve gone to in order to include a child that isn’t yours. This could also have a positive impact on your relationship with your biological child as well as your ex.

Getting the Police Involved

Unfortunately, there are a lot of exes out there who flat out demand that their ex include half-siblings and stepsiblings during the parent time. If the ex is unwilling to act as a free babysitter, then they don’t get to exercise their parent time. It is illegal to prevent your ex from having their child during their court ordered parent time. If your ex is preventing you from exercising your parent-time because you won’t meet their demands, you can call the police and have the police enforce the court order. The police may also make a police report, detailing the event. If you are going to call the police, make sure that you stay calm. While it may be frustrating to have your ex stomp all over your rights, contributing to a scene may cause more conflict and can add more stress and trauma to your child’s life.

Consequences of Police Involvement

While police involvement can definitely get things moving, there can still be consequences. For example, if your child has already stated that they do not want to go with you for your court ordered parent time, having the police physically force your child to go may damage your relationship with your child. This may also damage your relationship with your ex. While you’re probably not too concerned about what your ex thinks, having a damaged relationship with your ex can make coparenting more difficult. While there may be consequences to getting police involvement, there are also benefits. For example, if your ex has a history of interfering with your parent time, having an extensively documented history of police reports may be helpful if you’re going to go to court.

Getting the Court Involved

The first time your ex interferes with your parent time, the judge may wag his or her finger at your ex and warn them not to do it again. However, if there’s an established pattern of custodial interference, your ex may lose custody, be ordered to pay your legal fees, and even face criminal consequences. Remember: custody orders are orders; they aren’t suggestions. You do not have the authority to withhold parent time that your ex is legally entitled to simply because your ex is unwilling to act as a free babysitter or meet whatever other demands you have. If you are divorced, or otherwise separated from your child’s parent, following court orders and conducting yourself in a manner that reduces conflict is in your child’s best interests.