Legal Custody
Legal custody generally refers to the ability to make decisions about the child’s life, including where they go to school, where they live, which medical treatments (mental health treatments included) they’ll have, and more. Most couples share legal custody, as that is almost always in the best interests of the child. In some cases, it is possible for one parent to have sole-legal custody, but this is unusual. In most cases, it’s not worth a parent’s time and money to pursue sole-legal custody. With both parents sharing legal custody, some decrees may include a final say provision, giving one parent the authority to decide once and for all what’s going to happen when the two parents cannot agree. Typically, this is the parent with the most overnights. If you and your ex cannot agree on therapy, you should check your decree to ensure that there isn’t a final say provision.
Who’s Paying for the Therapy?
Unless your parenting plan specifies who’s paying for what and how much each person is paying, you may want to plan on both you and your ex paying for the child’s therapy. Most decrees do have provisions stating how much each party will contribute, and whose insurance will be billed. It may be difficult to come around to paying for something that you don’t want your child to have, especially if you think it may harm the child. The expense of therapy can also be difficult for a person to absorb, even if the ex is willing to pay for half. If you and your ex are struggling to come to an agreement on therapy, it may be a good idea to shop around for mental health care that is more in line with your budget or your ex’s budget. It may be worth it to consider the frequency of visits as well. Although many therapists start their clients out once per week, you may be able to see a therapist who’s able to make once every other week work. Lastly, if you qualify for a sliding scale, or therapy at a reduced cost, that may also be an option for you.
Is it Necessary?
If you do end up going to court in order to decide whether your child will go to therapy, the court is going to be concerned primarily with the best interests of the child. The more necessary the therapy is, the more likely the judge will rule in favor of whomever is requesting the therapy. For example, a judge is a lot more likely to rule that your autistic two-year-old should be in early intervention than a judge is likely to rule that your child goes to therapy for issues that aren’t apparent. There may actually be cases where it is not in your child’s best interests to go to therapy. While therapy can be good for everyone, children probably shouldn’t receive mental health treatments for mental health concerns that they don’t actually have. Unfortunately, some parents like to use therapy in order to make their ex’s life financially more difficult. In this case, a judge may be more likely to say that the child doesn’t need therapy.
When There’s Disagreements on Approach
It’s also common for parents to argue about which therapist the child will visit—especially when one parent insists upon a therapist who is out of network. Sometimes, two parents may agree that a child needs mental health care, but they may disagree on the approach. Right now, mental health concerns with transgender youth is a polarizing issue, and many parents have strong feelings on what should be done to get these children the care they need. While some parents and experts believe that it’s imperative that these children receive gender-affirming care as soon as possible, other parents and experts want to explore other treatments. We live in a big world and no matter what the issue is, you’ll always be able to find two experts with opposing views. In this case, the court would likely take a holistic approach to the case and evaluate the specific child’s best interests.
Is This Worth a Court Case?
Going to court is an expensive and time-consuming experience. Also, going to court can be traumatic for the children even if the children don’t attend the court proceedings. The strain it puts on the parents, as well as the tension and conflict that the children inevitably pick up on, can really affect a child. When it comes to making decisions together, parents should do whatever they can to prevent going to court and putting unnecessary strain on the child. This may mean that both you and your spouse will need to work together to see if you can figure out a way to compromise so that your child can get the care they need and you don’t have to go to court.
When You’re Filing for Divorce
Whether you’re filing for divorce, or going through a custody battle, CoilLaw is here for you. Our mission is to get our clients the best results possible. If you need legal advice that’s tailored to your situation, contact us today to schedule your initial consultation.
