The Short Answer: Maybe
If your divorce hasn’t been finalized, you could put language in your decree that would prevent your spouse from spanking (or using other forms of corporal punishment) your child as a form of discipline—although getting them to follow through with that may be a bit of an ordeal. While you would be able to take them to court and the court may tell your ex to knock it off, there may not be a whole lot the court can do to force your ex to stop using corporal punishment and follow the decree. Doing so may be an uphill battle that costs a lot of time and money. If your divorce is already finalized, and you don’t have any language in there about corporal punishment, your ex can likely physically punish your children within reason. Since they are still the child’s parents, they still have a right to discipline the child as they see fit (within reason, of course) and if that means a light tap on the behind when the child has done something wrong, there’s a good chance that there won’t be much you can do about it.
Is Spanking Your Child Legal?
The laws vary from state to state but, generally speaking, you can use physical punishment as a consequence. However, there are certain things that the laws in most states would prevent you from doing. As previously mentioned, you as a parent have the right to raise your child as you see fit. This means that if you believe that physical punishment is in your child’s best interests, you will be able to use physical punishment so long as your idea of physical punishment does not meet your local laws’ standard for child abuse. Even if you’re divorced and your ex does not want to spank the children, it is not necessarily illegal to do so, assuming that your behavior does not rise to the level of child abuse.
Can You Lose Custody for Spanking Your Kids?
Spanking may not be DCFS’s preferred method of discipline, but it would be unusual for a parent to lose custody just for spanking their child, assuming that the spanking didn’t rise to the level of child abuse. As previously mentioned, child abuse laws vary from state to state. However, generally speaking, parents should make sure that they never cause their child to sustain physical injury due to physical punishment. This means that children should not have bruises, marks, lacerations, or cuts caused by punishment. It does not matter how minor the cuts, bruises, or marks are. Your child should not have them as a result of physical punishment at all. Your children should never be starved or malnourished as punishment either. In short, a child’s physical condition should never be impacted by the punishment they receive.
Does Spanking Your Kid Make You a Bad Parent?
Although spanking is losing its popularity, there are many parents who do spank their children, and many of those children turn out just fine. Though current researchers do not favor corporal punishment, that doesn’t mean that the court will automatically see any parent who spanks their children as a bad parent and deny that parent custody. If a parent has been abusive toward the child in the past, that parent may need to complete certain programs before they’re allowed to have parent time. Depending on the risk the parent poses to the child, the parent may only have supervised visitation.
When You Suspect Abuse
If you suspect that your ex’s physical punishment meets the standard of abuse, speaking with an attorney who’s licensed in your state will likely be one of the best things you can do to keep your family safe. An attorney can give you advice that’s tailored to your specific situation, which may be crucial if your child is in danger. While you’re waiting to speak with your attorney, begin documenting every instance possible. Include as many details as you can, specifically dates, times, and quotes from your child. Pictures are also helpful. Try to refrain from questioning your child, as children often give false information accidentally—this is particularly a problem with young children.
When You’re Filing for Divorce
If you’re dealing with co-parenting issues, CoilLaw is here for you. Co-parenting can be difficult and a lot of parents find themselves back in court when they cannot reach an agreement with their ex regarding parenting issues. If you need legal advice, contact us today to schedule your initial consultation.
