“My Ex Bought My Kid a Phone!”

Wait, Who Owns the Phone Anyway?

Technically, whoever buys the phone owns the phone. While there are some loopholes and caveats, the general rule of thumb is that children don’t own anything. So even if a child does buy a phone, that might not mean that they own the phone, especially since children cannot enter into a contract—which is usually necessary for a plan with a cellular network. So, if your ex bought the phone for your child to use and is paying the phone bill, chances are that your ex owns the phone. In most cases, it is acceptable for parents to purchase a phone for their child and, assuming there’s nothing in the decree that would specifically prevent such a purchase, the parents will generally have the right to do that. However, just because you have the right to do something doesn’t mean that you should do it. If your ex is against the children having phones, this is something you and your ex should attempt to get on the same page about before you go out and purchase a phone for your kids.

“Can I Take the Phone Away?”

So, your child has showed up at your house with a brand-new phone that your ex bought—can you take it away? It will depend on the circumstances, where you’re located, and more. However, generally speaking, during your parent-time, you will likely have the right to take the phone away if you choose. You may even be able to ask your ex not to send the child over with the phone. If there is a reason that you believe that your child should not have 24/7 access to the phone, this may be something to discuss with your ex. Alternatively, you may be able to get permission from your ex to take the phone away as punishment—but make to talk with your ex about this before you do it. Hopefully, parents who want to take the phone away from the child have reasonable concerns, as opposed to just taking the phone away because their ex bought it.

“Can I Prevent the Child from Using It?”

Adjacent to taking the phone away is the child’s use of the phone: can you ban them from calling their other parent while they’re at your house? While you don’t have to allow your children to call their other parent on your phone—even though most experts suggest that you do allow them to call their other parent whenever they want—you may be able to prevent them from using the phone to call their other parent. Again, this will likely go back to who bought the phone and who is paying the phone bill. In most cases, you would likely be able to restrict your child’s access to the phone while they’re at your house, even if your ex is the one who paid for the phone and the phone bills.

“Can I Go through the Phone?”

While children do not have the same right to privacy that adults enjoy, the phone isn’t technically your child’s. Assuming that your ex bought the phone and pays the bill, it’s their phone, and they do have a right to privacy. This means that, in most cases, you cannot go through your child’s phone if you didn’t pay for it and are not paying for the phone bill. If you want to have the right to go through your child’s phone, you’ll have to get your ex’s permission to do so—unless you’re also paying for the phone. Because of these limitations, many divorce decrees include specific language around the use of cell phones. It is often advised that both parents purchase the child’s phone and contribute to the cost of the phone so that both parents have access to the phone, the ability to take it away, and more.

Should Children Have Cellphones?

Whether or not children should have phones will depend on the specific child. Some children may not be emotionally ready for the responsibility that comes with having a phone. Furthermore, phones that do not have proper filters can lead children to violent or explicit content that could harm their developing brains and cause lasting damage. If you and your ex are considering buying your child a phone, it’s important that you get your child a phone that has age-appropriate capabilities and filters. Additionally, it will be crucial for you and your ex to be on the same page about the rules and boundaries around the phone.