Is It Okay to Text Your Ex after Divorce?
It Depends
Some people choose to remain close after they divorce their spouse—after all, the divorce was fairly amicable and both parties are on good terms so is there really any harm in staying in touch with your ex? If you and your ex have decided to maintain regular contact with each other, that is your decision. Each couple will have to make a decision regarding the amount of contact that feels right for them. What works for one family may not work for all families. Whether or not it’s okay to text your ex after the divorce has been finalized will depend on the boundaries you and your ex have established and agreed upon and what your decree of divorce allows for communication.
What Are the Boundaries?
When you and your ex are going through a divorce, make sure that you both decide on what boundaries are acceptable when it comes to communication via text, calls, or emails. This is especially important if you have children, as you will likely need to arrange transportation between your home and your ex’s home. This generally requires some level of communication to coordinate and facilitate smooth transitions. If your ex tells you that they will only respond to texts and phone calls during certain hours, it’s important to respect their boundaries. If possible, you and your ex may need to work together in order to establish boundaries. In some cases, there may be one party who doesn’t want to hear from the other party under any circumstances. If there is a restraining order that dictates that one party is not to contact the other, the party subject to the order will need to ask your attorney’s advice if there’s ever a time where communication with their ex is appropriate
When Communication Is Necessary
If you have children with your ex, you’re likely going to have some communication with them, although it may be minimal. There may also be unforeseen circumstances when your ex needs to get in contact with you. Even if you and your ex have decided that minimal communication is in your best interests, you may need to discuss appropriate methods of communication in the event of an emergency. If either during or after the divorce process there’s some reason you need to contact your ex, but you have been ordered by the court not to contact your ex, you may need to ask your attorney’s advice on contacting your ex. Remember, court orders aren’t court suggestions; if you are ordered to do something by the court, you need to follow those orders.
When the Texts Are Inappropriate
Just because you used to be married to them doesn’t mean that you have a free pass to send messages that are suggestive or risqué in nature. Messages that include threats of violence, harsh language, and other forms of verbal abuse should be avoided as well. When you file for divorce, a domestic relations injunction is filed as well. This prevents your spouse from doing a lot of things, namely using electronic devices to harass you. If your ex is harassing you with text messages, phone calls, or showing up at your residence or work, you may need to get advice from your attorney regarding what you can do to mitigate these behaviors.
How Can I Get a Restraining Order or a Protective Order?
Typically, when people think of a restraining order, they think of an order that prevents a person from contacting them. While that is something restraining orders can do, a protective order may be better suited to keeping an ex away. If the court issues a domestic relations injunction, that will likely cover harassment during the divorce process. However, post-divorce, you may need a protective order if your ex’s behavior continues or is a threat to your safety. If you have concerns regarding your ex and a restraining order, CoilLaw may be able to help. Our attorneys are dedicated to providing our clients with the information they need to navigate the divorce process and make decisions based on their best interests. If you are concerned about issues regarding restraining orders or protective orders, and you’d like to speak with a licensed attorney, contact CoilLaw today to set up your initial consultation.