Who Gets to Decide Childcare Arrangements?
Generally speaking, the parent who has legal custody will be able to decide the ongoing childcare arrangements. Legal custody refers to the ability to make decisions about the child’s life: where they’ll live, where they’re going to attend school, what medical care they’ll receive, etc. Legal custody does not refer to physical custody; physical custody, in the simplest terms, refers to the amount of time the child spends with each parent. Aside from ongoing childcare arrangements, during your parent-time, you get to decide who is going to care for the children. It is typically presumed to be in the child’s best interests for both parents to have legal custody of the child. In most cases, it’s not worth it to attempt getting full legal custody, nor even possible for one parent to have full legal custody. Since you and your ex will likely both share legal custody of your children, you will both have a likely have a say in the ongoing childcare arrangements—which should be outlined in your parenting plan.
Right of First Refusal
Some divorce decrees have provisions that give one parent the right to care for the child in the other parent’s stead. For example, if you are going out with your friends, you may be obligated to give your ex the chance to watch the children. This is called right of first refusal. It is not an uncommon provision, but not all decrees have this provision. In some cases, the right of first refusal does not cover day-to-day childcare, such as the childcare during a parent’s daily work shift.
Who Pays for Daycare?
The exact answer can vary dramatically by state and by situation. Generally speaking, both parties are expected to contribute to a child’s expenses. In some states, some of the cost of daycare is included in the paying parent’s child support obligation. Other states may consider daycare and child support to be separate obligations. It should be noted that it is possible that you could be responsible for paying at least some of the cost of daycare even if you aren’t the one using the daycare services. When you’re making your post-divorce budget, you should consider the cost of childcare. Since childcare expenses can vary widely from state to state and from couple to couple, you will need to consult an attorney who’s licensed in your state to get an accurate picture of how much you can expect to pay for childcare expenses.
What if I Don’t Want My Kids in Daycare?
In some extraordinary circumstances, you may have an opportunity to prevent your spouse from sending your child to daycare. But, generally speaking, it would be unusual for a person to be able to prevent their spouse from seeking daycare services, especially if they’re necessary. For example, if your ex has to work during their parent-time and thus needs daycare services while they’re at work, you cannot demand that they do not place the child in daycare, especially if there’s no other reasonable alternative. While babysitters and nannies are alternatives, they tend to be more expensive than a traditional daycare center, making them less reasonable options—especially if your ex is obligated to cover some, if not all the costs. Furthermore, you would be unlikely to get full custody of the children just because your spouse has to work during their parent-time and the children need to be in daycare for part of that time.
Who Gets to Choose the Daycare?
Who gets to choose the daycare will depend on the couple’s decree says. Normally, there are childcare provisions outlined in the decree. In most cases, both parents will be able to have a say in childcare issues and, similarly, both parents will likely be expected to contribute to the cost of the childcare expenses. Parents may not always agree on the daycare center. If the parents are unable to reach an agreement regarding daycare arrangements, a court will need to decide where the child will attend daycare. The court will make a decision based on the child’s best interests as well as other factors such as the financial situation of both parents, distance from each parent, distance from the child’s home, and more. It should be understood that a child’s daycare history may significantly impact this. For example, if a child has historically attended a daycare center prior to divorce, and there’s no reason s/he cannot reasonably continue to attend the daycare center, that may impact the court’s decision as courts do not like to change a child’s environment and routine too much, especially when the child is thriving. Parents may also reach an agreement where each parent is able to choose the daycare the child will receive during their parent-time and pay for the daycare they use during their parent-time.
What If Daycare Is Unnecessary?
It would depend on what exactly is meant by “unnecessary.” However, outside of extreme circumstances, a court would not be likely to force both parents to find jobs with schedules that would eliminate the need for daycare. However, if there is an alternative arrangement available, the court may be willing to consider that alternative. For example, if your mother-in-law lives near you and your ex, and is willing and capable of caring for the child, the court may agree that daycare isn’t necessary for the child.
When You Need Legal Advice
At CoilLaw, we specialize in helping clients who are going through high-conflict and contentious divorces. If you and your spouse are struggling to reach an agreement regarding child care issues, we’re here to help you. Contact us today to schedule your initial consultation.
