Domestic Violence Defined
Domestic violence can be difficult to define because there are so many behaviors that could be considered to be domestic violence, and it isn’t necessary for any of these behaviors to lead the victim to the ER for them to be considered to be domestic violence. Threatening another person’s physical safety, for instance, could be considered domestic violence, even though the victim hasn’t been physically harmed. Domestic violence may also include hitting objects, throwing objects, kicking objects, breaking things (such as punching a wall), grabbing a person, pushing a person, backing a person into a corner, etc. Alongside those behaviors, choking, slapping, punching, and other forms of physical aggression may also be considered domestic violence. It is important to understand that while men are often the perpetrators of domestic violence, there are many men who are victims of domestic violence.
Domestic Violence and Custody
Just because a person is an abusive spouse does not mean that they’re an abusive parent. Therefore, if you have been the victim of domestic violence, your experiences with your ex may not have a lot of impact on your spouse’s ability to gain custody of the children. If you feel your ex may be a danger to the children, you will need to provide substantial evidence to the court to show that your ex could also pose harm to the children. Temporary custody orders may be placed at the time of separation, and you will likely be expected to follow them, even if you do not agree with them. While many states automatically issue temporary protective orders at the time of separation, you may require additional protection. If you have been the victim of domestic violence, you should consult with an attorney to ensure that your safety is prioritized during the separation and divorce process.
A Child’s Best Interests
In many cases, it’s considered to be in the child’s best interests to have a relationship with both parents, even if a parent has been abusive to the child. Unless there is a threat of ongoing abuse, it would be extremely unusual for a judge to rule that it’s in the child’s best interests to have absolutely no contact with one of their parents, even if the parent was abusive toward the child. However, a thoroughly documented history of child abuse will almost certainly impact the amount of custody a parent will be able to have. If a parent has an extensive history of abusing their child, they may, for example, only have supervised visitation as opposed to 50/50 custody once the abuse has been resolved. Typically, that would mean the parent would be able to show the court that they are no longer a threat to the child. If your child has been the victim of child abuse, it is likely a good idea to consult with an attorney when you’re deciding upon custody arrangements as an attorney can give you tailored advice on getting the most custody possible.
When the Children Witness Domestic Violence
As previously mentioned, bad spouses aren’t necessarily bad parents in the eyes of the law. However, if your children witness you inflicting violence on your spouse, that could pose a large issue for custody. The bar for domestic violence is much lower when a child is present. It is important to understand that a child being “present” may not just mean that the child is in the same room witnessing the event unfold. Children in the house at the time of a domestic disturbance may also be considered to be witnesses to domestic violence, even if they’re sleeping at the time of the event. Furthermore, the behaviors that constitute domestic violence are very broad when a child is present. Throwing things, breaking things, punching holes in the walls, or physically grabbing or pushing your spouse, may impact your ability to get custody of your children in the event of a divorce.
When Your Ex Is Violent
If you have an ex who is violent and physically aggressive, it’s important to protect yourself and your children. Attending an initial consultation with an attorney may be the best way to ensure your safety and the safety of your child. It is important to document any abuse that you experience and/or any abuse your child experiences. If your child is showing symptoms of abuse, it is important to document those as well. If you have concerns for your physical safety when you’re handing the children over for your ex’s parent time, it may be necessary to meet in a public place with an escort.
When You’re in a Dangerous Situation
If you’re in a situation where domestic violence is affecting your divorce process, it may be necessary to have an attorney to ensure that you and your family are adequately protected. At CoilLaw, our attorneys are experienced in handling high-conflict divorces. If you need an attorney to represent your best interests, contact CoilLaw today to get started on your initial consultation.
